𝐫𝐮𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫, 𝗲𝗺𝗶𝗹𝘆 𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝘀𝘀

𝟎𝟕𝟓

"𝙳𝚒𝚊𝚐𝚗𝚘𝚜𝚎𝚍"
ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ
𝘲𝘶𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘱𝘺
𝕨𝕖𝕕𝕟𝕖𝕤𝕕𝕒𝕪 𝕒𝕗𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕟𝕠𝕠𝕟

"DO YOU ALWAYS feel anger when something happens?" Dr. Stephenson asks.

Noah has been sitting in the office for half an hour.  She has been answering question after question, all having to do with her anger.

"Not always," Noah replies, "Sometimes it just comes out of nowhere.  Sometimes I wake up and feel it, sometimes it comes at a random moment, sometimes it happens when I'm alone for the first time of the day."

"Do you ever feel like your rage is blind?"

"What do you mean?" Noah inquires.

"Like, when you're angry, what goes through your mind?"

"I'm just...mad. I don't know, everything just seems to fade except for my thoughts. I wanna bottle up my feelings because that's what I was taught, but I also feel like I'm gonna explode. And I get so angry sometimes that my chest hurts." Noah explains as she puts her hand on her chest, gripping her shirt.  The doctor can see the pain in the teen's expression.

"So, you can get angry easily?"

"Yes. I think my mood shifts, but it's a quick shift. It's noticeable, but it also happens really fast."

"How do you typically release your anger?" The doctor continues with another question.  Noah feels like they will never end.

"I hit something — not people, usually. Like, a pillow or something. Or I just feel the need to destroy something. Throw everything off my desk or empty my bookbag on the floor or something like that."

"And how do you feel after you do that?"

"I don't know — still angry, usually. But like I did something to let it out." Noah answers as she stares blankly at the wall.  The doctor can tell that she does not want to look at him out of embarrassment.

"How long has this been going on?" Dr. Stephenson asks.

"Long as I can remember," Noah shrugs.

"Would you say in the last three months that you've had either physical or verbal aggression towards another person or thing?"

Noah peers down at her shoes.  She twitches her feet inside the red converse, wishing she had a different answer to the question.

"Yes," She mumbles.

"Noah, I think you have what we call IED—"

"Intermittent Explosive Disorder?" Noah asks, interrupting the man.

"Yes, do you know what that is?" Dr. Stephenson gently asks.  Noah can tell that he is choosing his tone carefully.  Is he afraid of her?  Is he afraid of her outbursts?

"Yeah, kinda," Noah replies calmly.

"Has someone diagnosed you before?" The doctor asks, confused.

"Sort of," Noah says as she thinks of Reid. Technically, he is a doctor.

"Why don't we get Emily in here to talk about the next steps? Is that okay with you?" The doctor suggests.

"Mhm," The teen hums.

"Alright," Dr. Stephenson says and stands. He opens the door and waves someone over. Emily walks into the room and sits beside Noah on the sofa.

"You alright?" She quietly asks her daughter.