Deliciae

c h a p t e r - 37

"Read books. Go to museums. Watch documentaries. Educate yourself.

You don't need to go to an ivy league school to be cultured.

You don't need money to understand how the world works.

You just need to put yourself first, and grab all the opportunities that come your way."

***

Stupid.

That's what I am.

Here I am lying on my bed like a starfish. After arguing with Alex last night my head hurts.

My stomach hurts too.

God, I don't know how I snapped at him so easily.

Can I blame it on the monthly Niagara falls?

I think I'll die with the pain of these cramps.

I finally got up stretching a little, to wake my body up.

Taking a hot shower, I grabbed a few clothes that looked exactly like my mood.

Wearing a long black coat I cringed at how I looked.

I had a pimple on my cheeks which made me want to cry.

Since everything is making me cry, I'll just go on a date with myself.

I'm a fun person to be around, I swear.

I say to myself.

I know I should stay at home if I feel sick. But at the moment staying here is making me sick.

I just wanna take my mind off my cramps and my argument.

Alex and I haven't broken up but just got in a tiny argument.

I was at his house yesterday since he asked me to be there.

The doorbell rang and I opened it to see a badly bruised Alex there.

He didn't even hiss once when I stitched his wounds, instead, he just stared at me calmly.

And I think I was on the brink of crying.

I already was in a messed up mood cause of cramps but then seeing him hurt made me cry more.

I looked at him as I tried to swallow the lump in my throat.

"Stop going there," I said glaring at him.

He sighed taking my hand in his and placing it against his cheek.

"It's my escape. I just cannot....." he said looking down.

I knew how it is to leave something that is your escape from reality.

But him getting hurt will make me just want to beat the shit out of the person who did it.

I've gotten a little violent after he began teaching me to fight.

It didn't mean to get serious. I should have left it right there but I couldn't after seeing the wounds.

Anyways I got out of the dorms and prepared a mental list of what I wanted to do today.

Getting myself an iced coffee I went over to the library I love.

I stayed there for a few hours.

And then I went over to the mall.

I had to get myself some new dresses, just cause I wanted to.

I'm sure I'm gonna regret it a tiny bit but who cares.