In My Head ❌

In My Head- Part 34

A/N: Hello everyone, apologies for the lack of updates but I am trying to be more active again and once again as always thank you all so much for all of the continued patience and support 💜💜💜

I promise I will never abandon my stories I intend to finish all of them and have some new one in the works both AAD and OG stories as well so please bear with me 😊😊My new plan is to write smaller updates to each of my stories in advance and save them so that I can update at least once a week. 

Updates will be slow in April because I have decided to enter a writing contest, so please wish me good luck 💜💜

OK everyone I've talked enough so I'm just gonna say

***MAJOR ANGST WARNING***

**TW: SELF HARM & SU*****

Dec's POV

I pulled into the driveway of my house turning off the car as I let out a sigh my head falling back against the headrest as I looked to my left, it had taken me almost an hour to get from the hospital to my house and in that time Ant hadn't moved or woken up he simply sniffled and whined in his sleep his arms tucked tight into his chest as he slept.

The sight broke my heart and as much as I had hated to restrain and frighten him like I knew deep down it had been for his own good however that didn't do anything to comfort me in the least, Anth had been devasted and as I caught sight of the tearstains marking his cheeks I frowned and scooted closer my fingers doing their best to wipe them away.

Ant didn't wake but he did whimper backing away from the touch slightly only to cry out as the seatbelt tightened forcing me to let him go as I rushed to unhook it, Anth's chest had really been giving him trouble ever since last night and according to Amanda it had even been hurting when he had tried to ....

My own chest tightened now as my head filled with memories of the roof incident making my hand freeze hovering in mid-air until the sound of a car pulling in caught my attention making me lower my hand as I turned to look out the back windscreen.

Amanda and Simon were here now and I put my hand inside my lap biting my lip hard as I fought back the wave of tears I knew would eventually be coming.

Amanda already thought I wasn't going to be able to handle this and if she caught me crying in my car before any of the "hard choices" Alexandra had mentioned came up she would call the hospital herself and Ant would be taken away somewhere before I could even blink.

I couldn't let that happen I had to stay strong in front of them, for Anth's sake, no matter how weak or vulnerable or scared I felt it was the only way to keep Anth with me.

I had to be strong now I had to be tough Anth needed me...his life...my life...our lives were depending on me now and this was one fight I simply couldn't afford to lose.

I heard a door slam behind me and I jumped slightly acting on instinct as Ant started to cry in his sleep the tears falling slowly but steadily as I scooted closer my hand coming up to comb through the tangled black hair as I spoke.

"I'm going t-to be right back ok? I-I j-just need to get your r-room ready....it w-won't take long... Amanda will stay with you and I will keep the restraints off just like I promised.... try not to worry Anth...everything will be ok I'll take care of everything...you'll see."

I didn't know which one of us I was trying to reassure and as my fingers travelled from Ant's head to his face making his head turn gently in my direction my eyes stung and a lone tear managed to finally work its way down my face.