In My Head ❌

In My Head-Part 23

A/N: Hello everyone back with another short update to this story, I apologize for the length but needed to bring Stephen back in the story as well as transition into the next stage. I'm sorry it's so short but the next one will be longer and hopefully more interesting.

Once again thank you all for your continued support and for sticking with this story it means the world and you are all so amazing. Alright guys, here we go....

Stephen's POV
I could hear a beeping noise very close to my head and it was staring to become slightly annyoing, what was that noise?

I wanted it to stop I wanted to stay here in the darkness but the beeping was so insitent and it wouldn't stop, I groaned and against my will I felt myslef slowly yet surely being pulled out of the peaceful darkenss.

I groaned again as I slowly dragged my eyes open looking for the source of the beeping, it took a few minutes my eyes felt so heavy and I almost gave up and let the darkness claim me again but then the beeping continued and my annoyance won out.

I opened my eyes squinting against the sudden intrusion of light, I blinked a few times forcing my eyes to focus as I tried to figure out where I was and where the annoying beeping sound was coming from.

I glanced around the room, everything was white, white walls, white curtains, white sheets, where was I?

What was going on the last thing I remembered was Ant and Dec talking to me and then the darkness pullling me under, where were they now? Were they still here? Was I dead or alive? Was this a dream or was this real?

I tried to look around the room to move my head but I felt something restricting my movements and then  something in my throat as well and I started to cry a little, I was very frightened now and I couldn't help wishing that the boys would come back at least then I wouldn't be alone in this awful place.

I felt silly as I started to cry openly but  couldn't help it I was scared and sad and in a strange place all alone; I started to feel worse and worse.

Of course no one was here to see me why would they be? I was nothing to them anyway that was the whole reason I was in here, I felt even more miserable as I realized that now they were only going to make fun of me even more or worse be mad at me for casuing them so much trouble.

I started to cry harder and then I heard footsteps coming into the room, I felt one last shred of hope; maybe it was the boys. My hope quickly died as I saw a woman in scrubs approaching my bed, it was just a nurse; my eyes teared up again.

Of course it wasn't them why would they be here anyway it's not like they wanted or needed me around.

"Mr. Mulhern can you hear me?"

I was pulled out of my thoughts by a woman's voice and I looked up through tear filled eyes to see the nurse from before standing by the bed looking at me waitng for an answer.

My throat was sore and the thing that was lodged in it hurt I tried to nod but my head was still pinned by whatever was holding me I couldn't help the small whimper that escaped me.

I saw her face soften and she gave me a warm smile before she pulled up a chair and took a seat next to the bed, what on earth was she doing? I was taken completly off guard as she placed a hand on my arm giving it a small squeeze before she spoke, it was oddly comforting and I found myself calming slightly.

"I know things are little scary right now but I promise you that everything's going to be alright."

Her voice was soft and warm and even though I was still very frigthened I couldn't help but trust her, she started to run a hand down my arm as she spoke once more and I found myslef relaxing further.

"You lost a lot of blood and your heart stopped twice once in the ambulance and once when you're friends were here. We restarted it and you're going to be very weak for a while due to both the heart failure and blood loss but I can reassure you that you will get better physically. We also fixed your arm up, you did a lot of damage and you cut a few minor veins in your upper arm which is why you bled so much."

I tensed at her words as a memory resurfaced, the sharp pain the blood running down my arm and then the sensation of being held in Ant's arms feeling greatful that he wasn't going to let me die alone.

I was beginning to get lost in my thoughts but then I felt something new I felt a hand slide into mine holding gently and I came back to the present to see the nurse looking at me with eyes full of sympathy.

"Hey there's no need to be scared we fixed your arm and you are going to be fine with time and physical therapy you damaged some of the nerves in your arm but with time they will heal and you'll be back to normal."

I should have been upset by what she had just told me but I wasn't, what did it matter if my arm was damaged it wasn't like it mattered it wasn't like I mattered.

"As far as what's going on right now the tube in your throat was to help you breathe earlier when you were in a coma but I turned it off a little while ago just before you woke up because you were breathing well enough on your own which means we can take it out soon."

There was a tube in my throat? I panicked and tried to reach my hand up only to panic more as I realized I couldn't move either arm, why couldn't I move my arms? The nurse sensed my panic and was quick to soothe me.

"Hey it's alright you're hands are restrained it's standard procedure with paitents who are considered a suicide risk, we don't want you to harm yourself again so until we can get a psychologist up here to speak with you I'm afraid we will have to keep you restrained. I know it's uncomfortable but it's for you're own safety as soon as we determine you aren't in danger we will take them off."

I teared up again I didn't want to be here in this awful white room with a tube down my throat restrained to a bed, I wished I had stayed in the darkness it was better than being here in this awful place I had tried so hard to escape from.

"Hey now don't cry visiting hours start soon and I bet that as soon as we call your friends and tell them you're awake they'll be here to see you. I think we can get a pshcologist up here later today as well so hopefully they can take the restraints off, everything is going to be just fine you'll see."

I pondered her words she had said  she was going to call my friends, that was a ridiculous statement, I didn't have any friends and no psychologist in his right mind would deem me safe enough to go home.

I was going to be stuck here in this awful place all alone tied to the bed, I felt so stupid and so pathetic.

I was such a screw-up I hadn't even been able to kill myself properly, I should have stayed in the darkenss I should have died when I had a chance everyone would have been better off especially me.

A/N: Well guys that's all for this update and I am sorry it was so short but once again it was just a transition chapter and the next will be better.

I hope to see you all soon and as always thank you thank you for all of the amazing support and until next time please Stay Safe out there 💜💜💜💜