In My Head ❌

In My Head- Part 14

A/N: Let me start out with saying hello and also apologizing for how intense that last update got. I decided to give you guys a break this time and dial back the angst a little, the begininng of this chapter is still a little scary but then it turns a little more fluffy. I am not completly happy with this chapter and I wrote like 3 different versions of it,  but I needed something to act as a transition to allow Dec to find Ant so that I could move the story along. It's not my best work and the next one will be longer as well as more interesting. Thank you guys again for all your support on this story and I hope you guys enjoy.

Ant's POV
I prayed Dec would pick up I didn't know how much time I had left and I if this was the end for me then I wanted to say goodbye to the best friend anyone could ever ask for, I wanted to thank him for the last 30 years and to apologize for all the mistakes I had made, I wanted him to know how much I loved and appreciated him.

I almost cried out in relife as I heard Dec's voice answer the phone, "hello?" I flinched as I heard the worried tone in is voice and as the lump formed in my throat again at the sound I manged to barely choke out his name,

"Declan.."

I heard him gasp before he started practically shouting into the phone,

"Anth! Oh my god you have no idea how happy I am to hear your voice! Where are you?"

I tried to control the lump in my throat so that I could speak  fighting against the swirl of emotions threatening to overwhelm me, he sounded so happy and so relived to hear from me.

I felt guilty again realizing that I must have scared him to death disapperaing like I had, I also felt like a fool. I knew what I had heard him say  earlier but now I was wondering if maybe I had misuderstood it, if Declan had really blamed me for Stephen's Death or if he wanted me gone then he wouldn't be almost crying in relief at the sound of my voice.

Oh god I thought as I realized that I had made a terrible mistake, I should have just stayed and tried to work things out; I should have given Dec a chance. I whimpered into the phone as the reality of what I had done and how much trouble I was in hit me, Dec must have heard me because his voice came through the phone again;  "Anth are you alright? Are you hurt?"

I felt tears falling as I took in the concern and worry in his voice, he really did care; how could I have been so stupid? I started to speak but then I felt myself starting to get dizzy and a dull ache began running through my arm and as I looked down at my arm I  gasped.

Blood dripped from every cut and was now running down my fingers and onto the carpet; oh god what had I done? I was beyond terrified now and so i did what I had done for the last 30 years whenever something frightened me, I whimpered out the name of the man who always came to my rescue.

"Decky...Dec I'm scared."

I heard Dec take a deep breath on the other end of the line and then he immediately went into comfort mode, "I'm right here Anth everything's going to be alright just tell me where you are and I'll come and get you."

His voice was so gentle and so kind, I had committed his voice to memory over the years and so now the familar sound comforted me a little; however it was short lived as my vision started to darken around the edges causing the fear came back full force.

I was going to bleed to death just like Stephen had, I was going to die here alone. I was such an idiot why had I had run off why hadn't I just stayed?
I couldn't help the broken whine that escaped from my throat as the reality of what I had done continued to set in; I was going to die. I whimpered out Dec's name again, "D-decky I'm so sc-scared I did something st-stupid..."