Gone

Chapter 6 [Juliana] High and Happy

 

       After I watch Blaze sniff the white powder through the dollar bill that is shaped exactly like a straw, I honestly don't know what to do. He looks like he got the feeling just a few seconds afterward, but everyone's body is different right? My body is different? Maybe I won't even feel it... Maybe it won't work. Okay, so maybe, I'm a little nervous. Scared, even. I've never done this before! I mean come on, I just smoked weed for the first time today, and now here I was ditching school with this group of teenagers.

       I barely even know them! I don't know them at all. I met them maybe two hours ago, and now, I was in this kids bedroom about to snort cocaine? Oh my gosh. What the hell am I doing? But, even worse, how do I get out this without looking like a wuss? I'm so upset at myself.

     But then all of a sudden, I get this really nice vibration that goes through my body, and in my veins. I feel, happy... I gasp, not used to this tingly and weird sensation that is now on my arms and in my chest. Crap. Was this the ecstasy? I'm high from taking a pill, and now I'm going to get myself even higher? Is this dangerous?

       “Jules,” Mickey sings, smiling at me and playfully winking. “Come on. Don't be scared.”

      “I'm not,” I carefully defend myself, trying to relax, about to take the bill from Blaze until he pulls it away. I stare up at him in a confused daze, losing my breath entirely.

      “Be honest with yourself,” he mumbles to me, staring deep into my eyes.

       I continue to gaze silently into his eyes, until I slowly shake my head. “What?”

       “Do you want to do this, Juliana?” he asks me. “Do you want to? Cause if you don't, it's not like we're gunna tell you to get lost or drive you off a bridge."

       “I-- I um,” I hesitate, knowing he's just trying to be funny. I quickly look back at Mickey who is obviously still smiling and giggling to herself. She seems so unbelievable happy that I actually want to fly away with her. This is the new me, afterall, isn't it?

       “You don't have to,” Blaze calmly states, Spencer speaking up.

      “Don't listen to Mick. She'll pressure anyone into anything,” Spencer agrees, in a humorous tone of voice. “If you don't want to do it then just say so. But hurry up, will you?”

       “I do want to do it,” I quickly rush out to them.

       Blaze turns to look at me again, and he nods, showing me a crooked grin. “Cool. Then here,” he lets out, finally handing me the bill as I gently take it.

       I glance back to Mickey, very nervous and having no clue what on earth I am doing, as she quickly scoots closer to me. “Just put one end to your nose,” she explains, taking a small pause to laugh. “And, uh, put the other end of it to the coke!”

       “Alright,” I gasp, breathing in and out, hearing them all start to laugh at me. “Guys, shut up!”

        Xavier even chuckles. “Will you hurry up then? I'm about to spark this after I sniff my line.”

      “Do it, do it,” Mickey chants, standing up all of a sudden and pushing my head down towards the glass table. “Do it, babe! Feel good! Feel great, get high with me!”

        And I laugh at how excited she is, so I quickly lean down and I snort the entire line.

      At first I lean back and everyone smiles at me, and then the burning in my nose unexpectedly makes me flinch with fear, and I feel like the back of my throat even is starting to close up. I am right about to freak out until it suddenly stops hurting, and gets sort of numb, still tingling though. Then Blaze grabs my face and wipes something off the tip of my nose, before parting his lips and rubbing his finger against his gums. Cocaine, I silently think to myself. Wow. I did it...