Gone

Chapter 13 [Spencer] You might be pregnant? *

 (Picture of Spencer)

God damn!

      I can't believe what just happened! I don't know what to do! I messed up. I can't breathe. I can't think. All I can do is smell the perfume Mickey was wearing. I wasn't smart at all, considering that I didn't even have a condom on me like I usually do. I never didn't wear one with Tessa. She always every single time had to make sure we were using protection, and now this one time I don't? It's bad enough it's not my girlfriend, it's her best friend, and I didn't even pull out. We had sex more than three times and each time I still just didn't give a shit. I know I was wasted and mad high, but I've never came inside a girl before. Just the thought of getting someone knocked up freaks me out.

     Fuck this. This is shit, man. I shouldn't have done something this dumb! What was going on in my damn head? I just cheated on my girlfriend, the girl I love to death, even more than I love myself. Not that I do though. I don't like myself at all at this moment . . . I'm suddenly darting down the dark hallway, pushing by a few people, trying to find where Tessa has ran off to. Where the hell did she go? When I walk through the doorway and step back into the kitchen, I nervously glance around and see kids mixing alcohol into this huge bowl, at least four different kinds.

     Usually I'd go get some of that. But here I am, running past them and going into the living room, where everyone else still is standing around and partying. They're all dancing, girls grinding on guys as the music quickens it's pace. That's when I realize they have a crazy sick set up with a DJ.

     There is a strobe light now, but maybe I just didnt notice it before because of how wasted and fucked up I was about an hour ago. Now I'm coming back down, back to earth, down from my high. All I want to do right now is to slit my wrist. I still can't believe I would cheat on the girl I love with her best friend. Mickey's my best friend too! We've been friends ever since we were twelve, and I never thought of her in this kind of way before. And now I think back and I want to scream!

     I'm bugging out because of this. This was a mistake. A mistake that I can't ever take back. Why would I do something like this? I can't stop thinking about this. . ."Yo," I hear someone say, as I lift my eyes and notice a kid named Patrick looking right at me.

    "What's up?" I blankly ask over the music, as it begins to now transform into a slower beat.

   "You want to throw fives with me, dude?" He asks, and I shake my head in response, as he looks as angry as ever. "What?"

    "I said no," I loudly state, starting to walk by him until he steps to the side, blocking my way.

   "Come on, dude. I only got five bills and Keith has ten. We need to find five more bucks!" he explains to me, but I just shake my head again, getting impatient. "What the hell. Why not?"

    "Piss off," I rudely retort, trying to move around him but he just dodges in front of me again as my eyes narrow in a burst of complete frustration. "Listen kid. You don't want to mess with me right now, alright? I'm not in the best mood."

    "Just throw down and I'll smoke you up on some Kush next time," Pat quickly offers, putting his hands on my shoulders as I stare him in dead his eyes and harshly glare at him.

    "Don't touch me," I warn him, but I can now easily smell the liquor in his breath and I know for sure now that he's definitely an angry drunk.

    "Throw down!" He practically orders, touching my pocket until I snap.

    "Get the fuck away from me, asshole!"

    He finally moves back about a foot and then starts to move forward again. "My bad, dude. Just give me a five." And then he puts his hand on my shoulder again, as I completely lose it.