Gone

Chapter 65 [Juliana] Our First Date *

Staring at myself in the mirror hanging above my dresser, is an enjoyable sight, finally. I can honestly say I'm happy and proud with how I look appearence-wise. My hair is wavey with some bleach blonde highlights mixed in from the special shampoo I washed with, and my skin is almost perfectly clear. I'm a bit more whiter than usual, but that's probably just because I've been cooped up in the hospital for so long.

It felt like forever, in reality, and the meds are now fully in my system I guess. Atleast that's what my mom and psychiatrist told me. Istill don't understand how they're supposed to even make me feel better, but I think it's working. I hope it's working.

"Mom," I loudly call out to her, as she only takes a few seconds before she strolls into my bedroom with a slight grin overtaking her face.

"Yes Jules?"

"I have a question for you," I quickly let out, her nodding and folding her arms across her chest.  "It's more like I need your opinion."

"Alrighty, shoot."

"Kay so," I hesitate, grabbing her hand and walking her into my closet, turning on the light. 

"Hmmm, you need help picking out an outfit to wear, don't you?" She asks, as I glance over at her and let out a soft laugh.

"Is it that noticeable?"

"Well considering we are standing in your closet, yes."

"Dress, or skirt? Or pretty long shirt with belt, and leggings? Or jeans, and a blouse? Or---"

"And where might you be going?" She asks as I shrug.

"He hasn't told me where he's taking me yet. I guess it's aa surprise. He isn't exactly the romantic type of guy, so we have to see if tonight he can pull it off," I joke and smile.

"Wait, does that mean this is a date?" My mother questions, almost in disbelief, and to be honest I'm kind of shocked too.

"Yeah," I eventually am able to get out.

"Oh, my baby is going on her first date. . ." And then she looks as if she's going to burst into tears and screams. But she stays silent.

"I am," I carefully state, as she drops her eyes to the floor. "What's the matter?"

She shakes her head and places her hand gently over her heart, closing her eyes. "Nothing Jules. I just wish your father was here... to see this. To see how beautiful you're going to look all dressed up before you leave to go out on your first date..."

I bite my lip and feel my eyes collect tears.  "Mom..." I breathe out, not knowing what else to say. I guess it just hit a spot. A spot that makes me completely vulnerable, because I'm finally able to realize how right she is.

"I'm sorry, I forget you don't like talking about him---"

"I miss him too," I quietly tell her, as her eyes connect with mine. "I miss him, so much. I miss him mom, I promise you, I do--"

"Juliana I know you do, sweetheart," she assures me, wrapping her arms tightly around me.

"I just couldn't show it... The doctor told me I was in a state of shock... I never would have tried to kill myself like that," I say to her as she pulls away and looks away from my gaze.

"I think I found your outfit," she suddenly lets out, unexpectedly, pulling a black jean skirt down, along with a pink shirt, with a black diamond crown designed on it. "Not too dressy, and not too casual. Since it's a surprise where this young man is taking you."