Gone

Chapter 63 [Tessa] Destroyed Inside *

"Mom," I call out, walking out of my room and anxiously making my way down the stairs. When I walk into the living room I spot her laying down on the couch. 

"Yes, hun? What's up?" 

I bite my lip. "I think I'm going to go out tonight," I tell her, noticing how stunned and confused she looks. Maybe because I barely go out anymore. Barely have friends. Barely even have a social life now that I left my old friends. Everything's changed.

"Hun, where do you plan on going and what will you be doing?"

"Please don't interrogate me," I barely let out. "I just want to try having some fun. Ever since we moved, I havent talked to anyone at school because I'm the quiet new girl everyone doesn't know. And these girls that I do talk to, invited me to a party tonight."

"A party? Oh, Tessa... I don't know if that's a goo--"

"Please?" I ask, interupting her not meaning to. "I'm so lonely, mom. I'm so lonely and I can't take it anymore. It's a Friday night... and I want to have a little fun."

Shge stares at me hard and silently for a while before shrugging and nodding. "Alright," she whispers as I slightly grin in disbelief. She's been so hard on me ever since the pregnancy.

"I'll be back home,  by midnight. It's nine right now," I assure her, as she sighs and nods once again. "Thank you mom. Really thank you so much for understanding."

"I love you, Tessa. Please be safe."

"I will," I easily reply. "I promise."

The halls were so dark, and filled with the wreak of weed, that as I pushed down the hallway I bumped into everyone standing in my path. People would shove me into the wall, and a few would curse at me, but I didn't let that bother me. I just kept walking, loving how wrecked I was. I haven't gotten drunk in so long and now finally I can feel free. I could no longer feel any pain. It was like my whole body had gone completely numb, and I could hear the loud thumps of my heart beating in my ears as I choked on the heavy smoke that filled my lungs. It reminded me of Mickey, Blaze, and Julie... And most of all, it reminded me of Spencer. Because all of us would always go to parties like this. But this one isn';t as crazy.

I kept walking, and I finally came across a doorway, where I stepped inside and slid my way passed a tall blonde girl. She took my arm right before I tripped over a beer bottle, helping me gain back some of my balance.

“Tessa, is it,” she said, passing her cigarette over to the boy she was making out with.

“What,” I slurred, trying to get her to let go of me, when I knew I would only fall onto the hardwood floor. I couldn't stand up straight without the whole room spinning in complete circles.

“Are you okay?” she asked me, her head so close to me, that we were almost touching. She touched my face and I shook her hand away.

“Do I even know you? I'm, fine,” I muttered softly, pushing her into the kid next to me and beginning to walk away. I can't help being shy.

“Are you sure?” she asked me, grabbing a shot glass and holding it out in front of her.

I held onto a chair to keep myself from falling over. “Where's Haley?” I shouted, louder than I meant for it to come out.

“What?” she yelled.

The music was so loud I could barely hear myself breathe. “Haley,” I repeated. “Where's she? Her and her friends invited me here. Told me to meet them. But I can't find them.”