NO WAY BACK | carl grimes | ON PAUSE

twelve: where did all the sunlight go?

"The rain can feed the flowers one day, and drown them the next."

🏹🏹🏹

ELAINA TOOK THE SILENCE from the group as gospel. Elaina couldn't help but notice how red and tear strained Carol's eyes were. Was she been there the moment Sophia went missing? What had she seen? Carol's snuffles slowly dried up as she tried to pull together a few words to form a sentence.

"Sophia. S-s-she left. Ran into the forest."

Elaina stood there for a moment, staring into the oblique forest. The trees seemed to be ubiquitous; spilling out everywhere in large groups. Elaina thought about how small Sophia was. A twelve year old girl with nothing but her thoughts. The thought of her being in pain sent Elaina into a panic. Why was everyone standing here? Why weren't they helping Sophia?

"We can't just stand here," Elaina said, her breath as shaky as her body. "Why are we standing here? Wayne?"

"We have to wait, sweetie," Lori said. "We have to wait for Rick. He's out there looking for Sophia."

Elaina looked desperately at Wayne, who was staring out into the unknown spread of the forest. Something changed within Elaina in that moment. Always, whenever she had looked at Wayne, he would always be looking back at her with that reassuring look in her eyes. This look, this interminable stare, that Elaina didn't quite understand, worried her. Where had the sunlight gone? Why did things feel cloudy?

x~x~x~x~x

Elaina waited patiently for Sophia and Rick to return. She had found a seat down beside the RV, right in the sunlight. In the peak of the sun, Elaina thought long and hard of everything that had happened in the last week. The Atlanta survivor camp attack, which had seen the losses of Amy and Jim, the explosion at the CDC which had left everyone feeling more hopeless than ever, Montana's lie about the mob groups, the discovery of Luke's car, and now, Sophia's disappearance.

It was like a chain reaction. Ever since Elaina, Montana, and Wayne had wandered onto the path of the Atlanta survivors, things had just kept happening. Elaina wondered if, maybe, this was the way things were going to be. If, maybe, they had been better off as a trio. Elaina had definitely grown closer to the group. How could she have not? They had been through so much together. Still, if Wayne or Montana had told her that they were all better off on her own, she would've went with them. As a kid, she felt like she stood out from the crowd like a sore thumb. Like everyone was watching her from a distance. She wondered if Carl felt the same way.

"You'll need sunscreen if you're going to sit in that sun, little lady," T-Dog said, leaning on the RV with his strong arm.

"If the sun wants to burn me with her rays, so be it," Elaina replied. "Better a burn than a bite, I suppose."