NO WAY BACK | carl grimes | ON PAUSE

twenty - two: find me where the clouds float

"As long as you are around, my hope will never disappear."

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THE FEAR OF FALLING haunted Sophia in the open space of the forest. Confused and disorientated, the little girl ran at a fast pace through the thick trees and heavy blankets of soil that made up the ground. Where would this path take her? She thought. Would it take her back to the motorway? She wondered if Rick was still searching for her, or if he had headed back to the group where his son was standing safe and sound.

The sprinting made Sophia's lungs feel heavy and weak. How long had she been running for? The sky was now turning an orange colour. A hard reminder that daylight was disappearing, and there wasn't a single thing Sophia could do to stop that. After palpitating her stony lungs, she pushed forward, trying to ignore the foreboding feeling of the unknown.

Walkers could be heard from the distance. Sophia looked around and found an old dilapidated cottage at the side of the forest. Nature had taken what had once belonged to it. Ivy had wrapped itself around the stony building, and trees were growing in what was once the living room. Sophia went inside and hid beside the fire place, waiting for the walkers to make their way past the house.

In the moments of fear, Sophia thought of her mother. Was she hoping Rick would bring her back safe? Would she be crying in this very moment? Did she believe her daughter was already gone? Sophia felt nothing but guilt in her heart, which already felt heavy from the running. She thought it had been best to run from the danger. It was what she had always known. What she had been taught to do.

The memory of Elaina crossed her mind. Was she the type of person to run from fear or did she stand and fight? Sophia measured her breathing while tears fell down her little cheeks. She'd never had to deal with this alone. After the Atlanta camp attack, everyone had been there. There was no fear of being alone. Now, in an unknown section of the forest, Sophia felt like a different person. A person far different from the little girl in the Atlanta camp.

After the hums of the walkers died away, Sophia made her way outside to a small river. Despite the floating tension that was embedded both in the air and in the earth, Sophia felt a moment of calm. Here was this river, pushing through and continuing to move despite everything that had happened.

It seemed like this moment could exist a little while longer.

But it didn't.

Before Sophia even noticed, a walker sunk its teeth into her shoulder, ripping out a chunk of her flesh. The pain ripped through her body, like a million needles jabbing through her all at once. With all of her strength, Sophia pushed the walker away with her and lifted up a rock. Before the walker could stumble over and bite her again, she threw the rock as hard as she could at its head and watched it fall to the floor unconscious. She did not know if it was dead, but she was not going to wait to find out.

"If you are in danger, hide," Sophia recalled her mother saying.

"What if the danger follows you?"

"You hide until it goes away."

Sophia listened to her mother's voice and headed inside the small cottage. Her shoulder felt tender and warm, but she was glad the walker had not got any more of her. The little girl longed for a warm hug from her mother, and from Elaina, which she accepted would never happen. She knew what state she would be in within just a few hours. She knew she would go through what Jim and Amy did. She'd lose herself and her ability to love.

Even though everything was tainted with misery and blood, she had been grateful for the extra time she had had on the earth.

"Do you think your soul is safe after you become a walker?" Sophia remembered Elaina asking her.

"I believe it is," Sophia replied. "Safe up in heaven. Away from all of the bad things down here."

"Getting to be in a world where nothing is bad," Elaina sighed, picking at the grass in the camp.

"It's a nice thought, isn't it? I think if you think about it hard enough, it becomes true. That's why I believe it. My mommy told me to wish upon the stars at night as well for extra luck. To make it happen."

"It is a nice thought," Elaina admitted. "You have so much hope, Sophia. I'm glad this world didn't take that away."

"As long as you are around, my hope will never disappear."

Sophia remembered the comforting feeling of Elaina's arms wrap around her in that moment. In the fleeting world where the dead rose from the ground, the moments spent with compassionate humans were important. Sophia imagined, in the distant future, that there would be a time where compassion became rare. That world scared Sophia, but she wouldn't live long enough to see it.

She turned her head to look at the bite on her shoulder. Sweat began to trickle down her forehead. This was it. The was the real beginning of the end.

Refusing to let the walker ruin her last moments on earth, Sophia continued to think about her family. About her hope. Her faith. Everything that was important to her. She looked down at the bracelet she was wearing and smiled. Touching it carefully, she thought of Elaina's bracelet, and Elaina's promise to her that she would never take it off. If it broke, Sophia knew she would fix it. She knew she would find a way to wear it forever.

In the growing sunset that reminded Sophia that daylight was disappearing, Sophia dreamed of the world she was about to go into. Although her shoulder felt weak and heavy, her heart had become lighter.

After a while, the sky grew dark. Separating the dark from the atmosphere, a growing light emerged from the ceiling which caused Sophia to look up. There, an old calm woman, who Sophia recognised instantly as her grandmother, extended her hand.

"Oh my sweet Sophia," the old woman said softly. "Come on now dear. Let's go where the clouds float."

Shoutouts to my favourite Wattpad accounts: disturbedia  -lifewasawillow
DoraTonksPotter <3