thirty - one: broken conscience

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"Love goes right through the bone

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"Love goes right through the bone."

🏹🏹🏹

(Please play the song now)

CARL SAT IN THE BACK SEAT of the truck, wondering where the group were going to head next. In the front seat, Lori peered out of the window, cradling her bump that had grown in size these past eight months. Montana sat in the back seat along with Carl, staring out the window. She had her rifle sat beside her, with her left hand gripping the top and her other hand resting beside her. He had grown used to the silence. So much so, it almost consumed him.

"Your shoe is untied," Montana said to Carl, breaking the silence. Carl looked down at his feet to see the left lace of his shoe was untied.

"Thanks, Montana," he said, lifting his foot up.

"It's okay," she said before turning her head towards the window again.

"Carl has never tied them tight enough," Lori said, turning her head and giving him a half smile. The boy gave his mum a gentle look before turning back to look through the window again.

As he looked outside, he thought about their current situation. Running around, scrounging for supplies. He worried about his mother, and her current condition. Instead of being excited for the arrival of the baby, he grew concerned. It came to the point in time where he wouldn't allow himself the pleasure of happiness, knowing very well that a lot could go wrong with the baby or with his mum.

Some days, he thought about the farm. So much time had passed since then, yet his mind sometimes circled around the image and the comfort of waking up in a familiar place. Now it seemed that he would have to get use to the back seat as his bed.

Out of the corner of his eye, he looked at Montana, who was still staring out the window. She didn't say much these days. Not since—Elaina. She helped, as much as she could, but Carl felt as if she had lost her sense of purpose. Maybe Elaina had given her a reason to keep pushing on.

"Montana?" Carl said gently.

Montana turned around, with the same vacant expression on her face. However, there, beneath the surface of her brown eyes, was Elaina's Montana. "Yeah, Carl?"

"What do you see out the window?"

"I see the type of trees that remind me of suburban neighbourhoods," she said, not looking at Carl.

"Suppose we have all of the time in the world to look at things," Carl replied.

Montana nodded, looking at Carl, before turning her head again. This was all the conversation Montana usually gave. One sentence replies, and no further effort to carry the conversation on. The only person person who managed to get more than a few sentences out of her was T-Dog. Carl didn't blame her. When sadness consumed you, you couldn't do anything to stop it.

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