NO WAY BACK | carl grimes | ON PAUSE

thirty - nine: silence is a little too familiar to be strange

"THERE'S NO OTHER OPTION. THERE's no possible cure," Sam said, gripping his side. "We can't do anything about it."

"You're a human being!" Ye-Jun stated. "How can we just shoot you like that? We can't just do that."

"I won't be a human being for long," Sam stated, coughing. "The flu is going to kill me. I don't want to turn. I don't want to go through the pain of the flu."

"So one of us puts a bullet in your brain?" Ye-Jun questioned. "I refuse to. I'm not doing it."

Elaina hugged her arms and directed her focus towards the trees outside. Her brain thought of Jim, who had not made it to the CDC. Instead, he had chosen to be left behind. That was the thing. Even if it had been very sad to see Jim go, it was still his choice to be left behind.

"We should honour his decision," Elaina stated, turning to look at Robin. "Everyone should have the right to choose."

Robin turned to look at Elaina. There was a sadness in her eyes. Elaina knew she had been through this before, probably multiple times. Elaina reached out and held Robin's hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

"She's right," Robin said, turning her head and flicking her eyes towards Wayne. "He should have the choice."

Sam nodded. "Thank you."

Elaina looked into the backseat and saw Wayne look down at his shoes. He reached into his pocket, and grabbed a revolver out. When he looked up with his tired eyes, he turned to Sam.

"Here, man," Wayne said, giving his gun over. "I'm so sorry."

Sam sighed. "I'm sorry things had to be this way."

Sam took one last look at Ye-Jun, rubbing her shoulder, and got out of the car. For the next few moments, everything was silent. Then, just like that, a soft bang could be heard in the distance. Elaina looked out the window and frowned. She knew that loss came more frequently in this world, but that didn't minimise the feeling of it.

"We should dig him a grave," Wayne stated, getting out of the car. "Elaina, don't come out until Sam has been buried."

"I've seen dead bodies before," Elaina shrugged.

"Not like this," Wayne replied. "Robin and I will dig the grave. You three stay here. Elaina, any problems, shout."

With that. Wayne and Robin headed into the forest. Ameena, Ye-Jun and Elaina sat in the silence. There was nothing you could say about what had just happened. Even though the walking dead existed everywhere you turned, even in your peripheral vision, seeing the body of someone you once knew was never easy, and Elaina didn't think it would ever get easier. Maybe you would become more numb to it, but after a while, it would hit you straight in the stomach. Like a bullet that shredded your insides and tore you apart internally, or a knife that sliced your skin until your arm belonged to the blood. Some people were better at stitches than others, but the scars would never let you forget.

Wayne and Robin came back twenty minutes later, looking pale and tired. Ye-Jun made her way into the back of the car, looking disorientated and frightened. Elaina wondered how much of the rotten world the girl had experienced.

"Elaina, could you go in the back?" Wayne asked. "Robin is feeling sick."

Elaina nodded. "Sure."

Ye-Jun moved into the middle, making room for Elaina. "Thank you."

Ye-Jun nodded, and turned her face away from Elaina again. After everyone had found their seats in the car, the only noise that could be heard was the quiet hums of the engine. Wayne had now taken over, while Robin stared absentmindedly out the window.