Juggling (Book Two)

Dear Tom

Vanessa is brooding in her cell and she is bored; so bored yet she feels guilty. It is the first time that she has felt this emotion ever since her relationship with Tom, maybe prison is doing her good after all. She thinks of all the things that she could have right now: a daughter in her arms, a brother who loves her and not rotting in jail. She misses having company as she does not get any visitors and lately her mother daughter visits have been cut short by Tom because he is still incredibly infuriated with her. George — her prison guard — was sacked for the whole Darren business so now Vanessa has no one. She rummages in the rotting desk and finds her old writing set. She is going to write to Tom. To apologise.

Dear Tom,

I know you probably do not want to hear from me after everything that has happened but please bear with me and restrain yourself from screwing up this letter in your fist. I have been sitting here for the last few hours reflecting on the last year or so. It has been a wasted disaster and it is all my fault, I admit it. You might think our relationship was a waste of time but if you think about it...it wasn't. You met Darren and had what I think was your first gay romance so if you think about it, I opened your mind. Secondly, if it wasn't for our traumatic break up (which believe me was traumatic for both of us) then maybe you and Benedict would not be together today. Has that crossed your mind? I am not trying to be spiteful, I am trying to look for the positives in some not so nice events which I am very sorry for.

Lastly but by no means least, you have a beautiful baby daughter who you see every day and have living underneath your roof. Meanwhile I rarely get to see her which does break my heart but it is truly understandable. I hope you are putting the photo album I gave you to good use! Remember to capture the memories you share together because time moves quickly and there is no going back, you will regret it if you don't. Please feel free to put pictures of Benedict with her in there also, he is her other father I guess so it would be dumb not to.

As for Benedict he is a lovely man and I feel that Emmeline Rose is safe in his hands. I have got the impression — from seeing both of them together — that he cares for her like she is his own. So Tom please cherish the fact that you have a family who love and care for you. I threw mine away and that was the biggest mistake of my life. Darren is never going to forgive me and I get that plus you probably won't either so that is something I am just going to have to live with but please Tom, do not turn my daughter against me. I want to be a good mother. I want to see her grow up and change and have relationships with new people. And when I get out of this place I want to be her mum, to look after her.

I think what I am trying to say is I am so sorry for all the hurt I have caused to you, Benedict, Darren, Eve and Emmeline Rose. I hope that I will be able to rectify some of these mistakes in the future but until then I bid you farewell Tom.

Stay safe,

Vanessa

After reading through the letter about a dozen times she folds the writing paper carefully in half and slips it inside an envelope before sealing it shut. There is not one lie in this letter, it has all come from the heart and she hopes that Tom will see that.

\~.~.~.~.~/

Tom is sitting on the sofa with Benedict's legs wrapped around his waist as they kiss passionately with the lights dimmed. It is late. Emmeline Rose is in bed snoozing and both actors have missed this loving contact so they drive on eager for more. The only sounds that can be heard is the gentle humming of the traffic in the distance, the sound system playing a cool jazz song on a low volume and then there is the sound of the lovers itself. Moaning. Sadly this moment is put on hold by a gently rap on the door. Benedict groans and pulls away prior to shouting, "It is open!" Soon later the door is swung open and Lauren scampers in but pauses when she sees the position her two friends are in.

"Shall I come back later?" She questions with an awkward smile.

"No it is fine Laur." Benedict smiles and shuffles off his fiancé to his feet. "What can we do for you?"

"Actually err, this letter came for Tom." She mumbles and looks at the envelope in her hands, "It was put in Steph and I's mail box by mistake." She paces over to the sofa and drops the letter onto Tom's lap who smiles graciously.

"Thank you Lauren." He credits and then he begins to tear open the paper.

"Anyway see you later." With that she rushes out of the apartment and shuts the door behind her. Benedict and Tom erupt into fits of laughter at Lauren's actions. Bless her she was so flustered and unsure what to do which was hilarious to watch. But Tom's smile soon fades when he sees who the letter is from.

"What is wrong TW?" Benedict asks with a concerned tone.

"It is from Vanessa." He states and then starts to read the letter while Benedict taps his foot nervously. Tom has only recently become happy again so he does not want that bitch to ruin it now. The taller actor hums at parts of the letter as he reads causing Benedict to relax again slightly, it cannot be too bad. "She is apologising in a nutshell."

"What?"

"She is saying sorry and she has list all sorts of things that she has done wrong but also listed reasons as why some of those things have positives. And I tell you what she puts up quite a compelling argument...I go as far to say that she is right." Tom rambles and Ben slumps down next to him and nestles into his chest. Tonight the two feel content. Nothing can go wrong now...

A/n I know it is short and I know that you all hate me now because of it but I have so much work...eugh. 

{Anyway I hope you enjoyed this chapter, if you liked it punch that vote button in the face LIKE A BOSS and high fives all round *whapish* *whapish*. And I will see all you dudes in the next chapter!} - Only JackSepticEye fans will understand ahaha. Sorry he is what is keeping me sane through revision.