Letters | Regulus Black x Reader

Who cares?

TW// Self-harm in this chapter.
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Y/N's POV:

"-Y/N, can I come in?
-No!
-What?
-I-I mean, yeah, wait!"

I got up quickly, hid my blade under all the papers on the desk, cleaned my arms and went to open the door.

Sirius smiled awkwardly to me and I gave him the same smile back.
He sat on the bed and I went to sit next to him.

Why is he here? Did I do something, again? He wants to talk to me about my fight with Remus, right? I know that I ruined everything. He wants me to leave? Yeah, I was planning to. Why-

"-Are you okay?
-What's with this question since this morning?
-It clearly sees that you aren't, and I'm the one who spent the night with you. Just in case you forgot.
-Yeah, well. I'm okay.
-Then why were you so angry earlier?
-I don't even know...
-Come on, I think you both owe excuses to each other."

Sirius took me by the arm and even with all the efforts in the world to hide the pain, I couldn't help but let a little yelp out of my mouth (which sounded like a hurt dog.) which made him turn back to face me.

I immediately looked down and my breath was starting to get quicker and quicker.
I tried my best to stop the anxiety attack from coming, and I nailed this one compared to that damn yelp.

"-Y/N, did you-
-Yes. Yes, I did hurt myself. But who cares anyway?
-Hum, me? What am I if I don't care, a bird? A rock? A leaf?
-I couldn't stay clean anyway. It would've happen one day.
-Maybe not, you did your best to stop and you nailed it! You stayed clean during a whole year, I think that you don't realise how great it is to stay clean that long. Y/N, you stayed clean a whole damn year! That's amazing! Why would you fall back like this all of a sudden?
-I don't know, Sirius. The only thing I know for now is that I ruined the day.
-No, you didn't. Come on, I'll do the bandages on your arms and we'll go apologise to Remus, hm?"