Serie 2 - Attorney's Possesion (COMPLETE)

CHAPTER 36 (SPG)

The following scenes are not suitable for minors.

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Hindi ito umimik, bagkus ay nanatiling nakatitig saakin, pinahid ko ang mga luha ko.

"I'm infertile, secondary infertility matapos kong ipinanganak si AA" garagal kong sumbong "This is one of the reason I'm being distant to you. When you told me that you wanted 3 kids I already know na hindi na pwede. Why would you settle for me kung hindi ko naman kayang ibigay ang gusto mo!" I broke down.

My anxiety is eating me up, the moment I learned that I won't be able to get pregnant again still haunts me. Halo halo ang emosyon ko noon, si AA dumating na pero mag-isa lang ako, tapos nalaman ko ba ang balitang wala na muli akong kakayahang magkaanak.

It sucks, as a woman I'm supposed to get pregnant and have more children pero hindi na pwede, My body failed on the thing it supposed to do.

"That doesn't matter anymore" Hinawakan nito ang mag kabila kong pisngi. "That doesn't make you less of a woman"

"Yes it does!" I shrieked.

"No honey, you already gave me AA, kahit kayo nalang, masaya na ako sainyo" pagaalo niya "Please stop crying, that doesn't matter anymore, I love you"

"Sinasabi mo lang 'yan dahil guilty at naawa ka!" I cried.

I couldn't contain my emotions anymore, this is the reason why sobra ang pagaalaga ko kay AA, dahil alam kong siya lang ang anak ko, dahil hindi na siya madadagdagan.

That's also the reason I never dated again, Para saan pa? There's no point of dating ang getting married. Getting married means building a family, having kids pero hindi ko na magawa. Nagpapasalamat ako sa Diyos dahil nagkaroon pa ako ng isang anak.

"No, I love you, I intend to keep you" suwestyon niya.

He wiped my tears using his thump, he's gently carresing my cheeks.

"Shhh, calm down honey. It's okay" pagaalo niya sa akin.

Bumalot ang matitipuno niyang braso sa maliit kong katawan then I cried in his arms. I cried until my tears ran dry. I was like a lost child, ang bigat sa dibdib.

This is my weakness, and it always had been a huge insecurity of mine. When I was a child I always wanted to have kids, Sabi ko noon kahit tatlo masaya na ako basta huwag lang nag iisa para hindi malungkot ang anak ko. Pero that won't happend anytime soon in fact, it will never happend.

" I already got a son, Mayroon na si AA" aniya "I'm already contented with you both, kayong dalawa ang buhay ko."

He held my face and planted soft kisses on lips. I hugged him tight, I don't know how to feel, there's this guilt inside me that I already ruined his hopes and dreams on having more children, but I'm also glad that he accepted me knowing that I can't give him children anymore.

"Y-you're not mad?" I asked.

"No, why would I be? I love you" he said, making my heart flutter.

I realized I haven't told him I love you too, I just can't, guilt is haunting me.

"It's okay if you won't tell me you love me too honey, I can wait, I won't force you hm?" he said.

I suddenly felt like an asshole again, I was selfish, maybe a little too selfish, I realized that hangga't hindi ko pinapatawan si Alejandro ay hindi ko rin pinapalaya ang sarili ko.

Dahan dahan akong napaupo sa sofa, kasabay non ay pinantayan niya ako. Tipid itong nakangiti sa akin, but you could still see love and contentment in his eyes.