The demanding life of a teenager [Destiel AU]

Back again

When Dean had dreamed about the moment Cas would take him back, he'd always pictured it as this of big-ass turning point. When they got back together, everything that had happened - what he had done - would instantly be forgotten. It would be left behind them, never to be brought up - or even thought of - again. Things would go straight back to the way they used to be, before everything got so complicated.

He had been wrong.

Naturally, it hadn't been that easy. Things wouldn't just magically sort themselves out like that. In hindsight, Dean realized he had been a fool for even hoping for it.

Of course, he didn't know what went on inside Cas' head, but Dean himself thought about what had happened, now more than ever. He was terrified he might somehow screw up again and it would all just fall apart. Therefore, he was unusually careful with what he said and did at all times. He was constantly tip-toeing around Cas, always afraid to step over the line one way or another.

It didn't take more than a few days before he found himself unconsciously playing a game called "How Would Cas React If I Were to Kiss Him Right Now?"(Dean Winchester copyright - all rights reserved). The game involved Dean making up scenarios in his head about what was likely to happen if he kissed Cas at that very moment. Every time he played, the worst-case and best-case scenario changed little. The best-case was obviously Cas kissing him back. The worst-case was Cas shoving him away, telling him he'd crossed the line and that they were done, this time for good.

Dean always held back, fearing the worst-case. When he thought about it, Cas hadn't given him any reasons to think he would shove him away. He seemed a little shyer than usual, but he hadn't ever hinted to Dean that he was breaking any boundaries.

Nevertheless, Dean kept his distance. He wouldn't risk doing anything stupid. Therefore, he entertained himself by simply just watching Cas. Even thought he was undoubtedly being embarrassingly indiscreet, he had somehow pictured Cas oblivious to being watched anyway. To be fair to himself, Cas could often seem quite oblivious to what was going on around him. It wasn't completely unreasonable to believe that he could be so this time too.

Like one afternoon after school, when they were sitting at the dining table in Dean's living room, doing homework.

Dean hadn't been able to concentrate for more than a few minutes. Logarithms were boring enough when you understood them. But when the teacher kept introducing new rules - about the different bases or whatever - all the time, Dean officially gave up.

Therefore, his eyes drifted to Cas, who was admittedly a lot more interesting than maths.

Cas was sitting in the chair opposite of Dean's, seemingly engrossed in his chemistry book(how does he even do that?). He was cupping his chin with one hand, the other one holding a banana sandwich he'd made before they sat down. His blue eyes was drifting fluently back and forth across the pages, as if they were driven by clockwork.

Occasionally, they would stop up temporarily and Cas would get a concentrated look on his face, as if there was something he didn't quite understand and had to think hard about. His eyes would narrow a little, and he would get some creases between his brows. Then it would pass, his face would smoothen again, and he would go back to reading. For some reason, Dean found it genuinely fascinating.

It was impressive how he additionally seemed able to block out the sound of Sam watching TV in the next room completely. Dean was constantly distracted by it, but Cas didn't even seem to notice. Cas must have a special talent, Dean thought, for blocking out all background noise when he had a task before him. Dean had seen him do it countless of times before. He'd bet he could practically bring in a juggling mariachi band into the room without Cas as much as sparing them a glance.