This Is Where I Want To Be

108. Summer

Michael

Juliet trained most of the morning with Louis in those masks. Carl was giving orders, with Kubra leading the exercises. She was fit and healthy, but her back and shoulders were all leather- snake-like skin- and I didn't know if I could touch it. The few patches she had at the farm were nothing and easy to avoid. She looked different... I had not seen her naked since our time at the farm... I had heard... Warden had told me she took it badly, dropping Caleb, but seeing her in a thin, strappy top exposed most of her. I was one to talk... I didn't even want to look at myself in a mirror. All my muscles were gone. All my hard work... Gone. I groaned, thinking that I would have to start all over. Go out there and exercise with them... with her... My physiotherapy was concluding. If I wanted my body back, I would have to do it myself. I was getting to a point where I needed to think about talking to her. She had given me space. So much space... If I stayed, I would have to commit to marrying her.... "F-!" I completely forgot. Why wasn't I leaving... I couldn't even talk to her, face her, or sleep next to them. They were training to fight freaking Ahasuerus and going to use the masks to make her and Louis more lethal. Who was going to talk them through it? I couldn't do it. I felt so out of place.

I was the one that worked with Samuel to create it. What a mission it was to get it done through his contacts still on En-gannim. Back then, I was determined to save her life and would have done anything to be with her. I turned to look at myself in the mirror, taking the plunge. It wasn't pretty, not at all how I saw myself. So thin, and my skin was loose and wrinkled.

That month between being taken and being let go as Juliet's watcher, I was mostly with Samuel, under the disguise of Caleb's watcher. We had spent so much time together, and I wondered where the hell he was or if he had known I would be taken. The only thing I could come up with was that it all happened too fast. Qadir was in France, and somehow, they had figured out all I had done, and with Qadir in charge at that point, there really wasn't anything anyone could do.

***

Juliet

Every day, I sat and watched Michael's door. He left it open, but Louis told me to back off, so I did. Louis and Michael had been spending time together, setting up his shop, making sure he saw his doctors. That he slept and was moving in the right direction. Louis was also reading him the whole time. Michael didn't mind... Louis didn't want to share any of it with me.

I was getting restless. He had been home two months and had yet to speak two words to me... Louis eyed me suspiciously around the fire that night. He was in my mind... And I was thinking about ways to push myself in there. I didn't mind doing the work. Michael was there, and that was all that mattered. Louis pulled me up out of my chair. We were walking over the grass to our room. He closed the door, rubbing his forehead. "Baby... Michael has a problem with your skin...." I frowned. I was a bit hurt for a second. I never thought he would care. Although I did look like some freakshow. Weird green tattoo on my arm. Earth tattoos in random places on my body. My snakeskin back and two other tattoos reminded other men of who I belonged to.

"So if you... push yourself in there. Or sneak in at night thinking you're going to temp him.... like you do with the rest of us... he might get spooked... He isn't like us. Used to weird things. Seeing it is different than experiencing it. Feeling it... Remember how you felt when you first had to manifest in front of me... You won't sleep with anyone like that, would you?"

I sighed. It was not what I wanted to hear. I shook my head. I sat down on the bed, regretting every choice I made. Louis could've found Michael if I had only let him meet with Rodrigo. I felt like a failure. Above everything he had to go through, I wanted to push him. I was being selfish. Louis left the room. I heard him knocking at Michael's door. I stepped out so that I could listen to their conversation.