Fearless - a jaylor story (peace book 3)

a long night

** three weeks later - monday 2th November**

-taylors pov-

It's been another three weeks and we are trying to get back some sense of normalcy. Ellie is able to be more on her own inside our house now which is good, as long as she knows exactly where I am at all times, she seems like she handles it better. She does get out of bed several times at night to come and check that I'm still here, so either joe or I follow her back to her bed and tuck her in. We have been trying to keep her out of our bed at night as it's not good for any of us to have her in our bed every night. It was okay for the first week but normalcy and routine is important for all of us.

It's been a long day and we have already put the kids to bed so now joe and I are snuggling. Tomorrow will be exhausting as I'm going to witness prep in the morning. Ellie and joe are coming but they are sitting right outside the door, we have gotten that far now that she can do that so baby steps at least.

We have decided to keep her out of attending school until after the trial, but then we need to get her back to school. It's important for her to make her way back into the word so her anxiety to be away from us doesn't grow even bigger. But we have had a meeting with the school, and we have agreed that one of our security guards will be at school with Ellie just in case something happens. Obviously, he is staying out of the way from her playing with other children, but we all think its best that someone from our team is there.

I lean up and place a kiss on joes' lip and tangle my fingers in his hair. Kissing and making out is thankfully not a problem anymore, which I'm relieved about. His tongue enters my mouth and I moan. "The kids are asleep; do you want to... you know" he says, and I tense up and pull sway.

"Sorry I didn't want to pressure you. Don't worry about it. I just took it as a hint" he says and rub my back. I take my time to gather my thoughts before I look at him "i just... I think that I would panic if I felt something... inside of me... it just... it still haunts me when I close my eyes or while I'm sleeping. But I miss being close to you. It's frustrating" I say and wipe away tears.

"it's been four weeks Taylor, it's not a big deal that you're not ready. I'm not going to pretend that I know what you went through, but I do understand that it can remind you of what happened in that room. But like a baby step if you want. Were there anything he didn't... he didn't make you do" he says and continue to rub circles on my back.

"He didn't go down on me thankfully. It was bad enough... it was... I can't even talk about it... I don't want to talk about it... I feel bad enough that I basically had sex with someone else while I'm married and in love with you" I tell him and wipe away more tears.

"It wasn't sex Taylor, it wasn't consensual. It's not your fault at all. I want you to get back your confidence in every way, including sexual stuff. Would you want... do you want to try me going down on you. Only if you want to, and I'll keep my penis in my pants" he says with a weak smile and nod.

He goes up and lock our bedroom door just in case and come over and sit Infront of me. "If you say stop, I stop right away. If you feel like it's not good or you get too many memories, just tell me and I'll stop. I want you to feel confident Taylor"

I nod "I need verbal confirmation if we are going to try Taylor" he says and kiss my hand "yes, I want to try"

MATURE CONTENT

He climbs on top of me, and our lips meet, and his hand touch my bare skin as it rises up under my shirt. Gently he pulls my shirt over my head and look down at my body. "you're so beautiful Taylor" he says and kiss me again before taking off my shorts leaving me in my lace underwear.