**book three in the peace series**
Having three kids is hard work, but when you are A-list celebrities as well it's even harder.
When you combine your oldest child starting school, balancing work and family as well as handling people from their pa...
The photographers scream at me while I make my way down the billboard woman in music carpet. Tonight, I'm being honored and it's such a big deal. For the second time I'm named the artist of the decade and it feels like a dream. Ten years ago, when I last was here, I was just about to turn 30 years old and now i'm here and turn 40 tomorrow. Ten years ago, I was in the same place physically receiving the same award, but this time it's different. I'm different.
Back then I was living an unapologetic life for the first time, and I was picking a fight with the people that stole my music. I was angry but I also realized that I would be criticized for whatever I did so I might as well do whatever the hell I want.
Now I'm a mother, a wife and have many more albums under my belt. I now own the masters of every album since lover, and I own the masters for the re-recordings. I'm still living the life I want though, and I do whatever the hell I want, but things are still different.
Ellie came with me tonight, she was begging to attend, so she is waiting with tree at the end of the carpet with a big smile on her face. Then at the end I invite her to take some pictures with me which she happily does. She was begging me before we got here that she would get to be in some pictures too.
Hand in hand we make our way to our table and look out into the room that's decorated pink and full of woman that has made a difference in the music industry in one way or another. New female artists and old female artists gather together for this one night in music where we celebrate the difference women can make in an industry where males are viewed as superior in every way. Even after all these years its easier for males, they aren't held to the same high standard, so it's nice for us to gather and celebrate that we are valued just the way we are.
"You okay Ellie" I tell her softly as we sit down and she nods "I am, it's so pretty here. Its pink" she says with a big smile. Pink is her favorite color, that's why she is wearing a custom pink dress tonight. I'm in a white dress so we kind of match.
"but do I look okay" she says and bite her lip, a nervous habit she has gotten from me "You look beautiful Ellie. You're always beautiful" I tell her and take her and in mine squeezing it three times.
It's time for me to go up and accept the award, and I'm kind of nervous. I know there has been a lot of shit thrown my way because of the fact that I'm getting this award for the second time, but I try to block that out.
"hi, I'm Taylor" I introduce myself as I always do even though I know people here are well aware of who I am.
"Ten years ago, I was standing here accepting the same award and it's such an honor to be recognized once again, so I need to thank billboard for that honor. Last time I was here I told the tales of how I got to where I am, and the struggles I had to face as a woman in this industry. So this time I will pick up where I left it last time. I said that I was taking back my narrative with re-recording my old work when men thought that they could buy me" i say and chuckle.
"And I know that I've been criticized for that. But really, I'm criticized for most of what I do so I don't care. I've learned over the years as an artist, but more specifically a woman artist, that whatever I do is going to be twisted into a bad thing. In my early days I didn't get why this was happening, I was caught up in a need to be accepted by people that doesn't even know me because I wanted to fit in. I wanted to be a part of the industry and tell the stories from my life through my lyrics"
"Now I know better, I know that whatever I do is going to be twisted. So I have figured of that the only person I really need to please is myself and my fans. I wish I could go back in time to that 16-year-old girl and tell her that actually the harsh criticism means you are succeeding"
I wish I could tell my old self that the push back from the industry is really a sign that they didn't like that a blond little girl was getting recognized and selling big numbers. The older men were intimidated and didn't like it, so they tried to break me down and they almost succeeded with that. When things got really bad, I almost quit music all together, it just got too much.
"Now I make a point of being the loud person I am and speaking out to make sure newer female artists know that they aren't alone when they get their first round of bad press. Most of the time it's actually a sign you're doing something right. It's a sigh that people are starting to get scared of your success"
"a few years ago, I went through some hard storms, and when that happened, I didn't know if I would want to do this anymore. My world crumbled in a way it hadn't before, I felt so lost. But that's where my fellow female artists came to my rescue in a way I didn't expect. People where constantly reaching out and sending their best wishes and offering to talk or watch the kids for a bit so I could take the time I needed to heal. It's something I can never thank those people enough for, and the support the fans had been incredible.
When I went through the hell with Adam, I didn't think I could do this again. The first music I put out after that hurt a lot because I knew the questions would come about the whole situation and I didn't really know what to say. There were so much criticism and people taking his side and say that I was in the wrong.
"So after that I decided that I wanted to continue to do this, I wanted to use my voice and lyrics to work through the hardest thing I've ever gone through, and I feel in love with music in a new way I hadn't before. It changed me, but I like to think that any hard stuff I've gone through helped to change me for the better"
You can look at the hard times in your life in two ways. You can let them eat you up and keep you from doing what you love, or you can use it to change you for the better.
"As a closing statement I wanted to say to all the woman in the room and the hopeful artists that will watch this on the internet. Don't let your fears get in the way of you working hard to get were you want in life. If you are a little fearless you can accomplish anything"
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**book four in the peace series is out now**
The kids are growing up and for joe and Taylor that's bittersweet. As Elliana enters middle school and their youngest enters first grade the children come into their own in a way they haven't before.
There are never just good times in life. With every good thing there is a new challenge being thrown at you. The challenge is what you do with this, do you let it break you or do you let it help you forward further into the person you were meant to be. If you dare to reach for the stars, you might realize that even the hardest times can bring you beautiful things.
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