Fearless - a jaylor story (peace book 3)

going back to school

** tuesday 1st december **

-Taylors Pov- 

Today is Ellies first day back at school and we are both nervous for it. I'm scared of letting her out of my sight and having her at her school where Adam showed up that one time. She has been spending time with my mom alone but hasn't been alone at school in months. Its nerve-wracking for me and I have barely slept last night. 

Ellie is also worried because she is scared of being away from me for so many hours. I know my daughter, and I can clearly sense her anxiety this morning and that makes me want to just keep her home. But I know she needs to conquer this fear because it's not going to get better by avoiding it. 

"Mommy can you braid my hair" she says as she comes into our bedroom fully dressed in her uniform. "of course I can" I tell her, and she sits down on my vanity chair while I do it. 

Seeing her in her uniform is triggering for me as that's what she wore when we were taken and down in that basement. She hasn't been in her uniform since then. It's obviously not the same pieces of fabric, the clothes both of us wore is in a police evidence locker somewhere, but it's an exact copy of it. She has several sets of the same things in case it gets a stain on it that I can't get out, and because we wash it every day,' so she needs a new set the next day. 

"I don't want to go" she sighs, and I know the feeling "i know, but you're going to have a good day. You have reading today, and math, and a piano lesson as well as PE and lots of time to play. It's going to be a good day honey; I really think so. And if you need anything mike is going to be at the school with you in the teachers' lounge and when you're outside he is going to be there too keeping an eye on you. You're going to be safe Ellie" 

"why can't I be as pretty as you mommy" Ellie says and look herself in the mirror "you are beautiful Elliana. You're so pretty and don't let anyone make you feel like you aren't beautiful because you are" 

She smiles gently "will I look like you when I grow up" she says "i don't know. You will probably look like a mix between me and daddy" 

Getting out the door was a challenge, but I got her out the door and into the car with her backpack and her PE kit and a packed lunch. Mike is driving a separate car just in case they need the car while she is at school. We have three cars in total, but they are all pretty much the same range rover seven seater that are all bulletproof and have tinted windows. 

We get to the school, and I take Ellies hand and walk with her to her classroom where her teacher, Mrs. Ziegler, greets her with a hug "hi Elliana it's so nice to see you again" she says and Ellie clings to my hand "nice to see you too" she says politely. 

I kiss the top of her head "mommy or daddy will be here at the end of the day to pick you up sweetie, I hope you have a good day" I tell her and reluctantly she says bye and walk to her desk. I hate to leave her here but it's for the best, it's for her best. Thankfully the class are five- and six-year Olds so they probably don't know anything about what she has been through. I don't want them to ask her about it because that's none of their business. It's hard enough for her to come back to school and they don't need to make it worse. 

I walk past mike on my way back to the car and he assures me that it's going to be okay. Driving away from the school leaves me with a pit in my stomach. I know Adam is in prison and can't get to her at school, but I still feel like a terrible mother for leaving her there when I know she is scared. 

After grabbing an oat milk latte i go to the studio with Brian my security guard in my car to make sure I'm safe. The media has died down here for now so I can get away with just taking one to the studio when I'm just in and out the door.