Fearless - a jaylor story (peace book 3)

Postponed

** Thursday 5th November**

-Taylors Pov- 

"so Ellie. How did it go at the courtroom?" anna asks Ellie as she is sitting and drawing while we talk. We have moved from her not being able to talk without being in my lap or tucked under my arm to her being able to sit and draw while we talk. It's one step in the right direction. 

"The judge was so nice. I got to sit in her chair which was fun. I got to ask loads of questions and she said that I was such a brave girl that was going to speak so I got a special pin!" she says and look up smiling. "She also said that he won't be allowed to be mean to me or mommy there, which made me happy. And I don't even need to look at him. He doesn't look nice, he makes me feel icky if I look at him, and I hope he doesn't smell so bad anymore because I don't want everyone to smell that bad smell" she goes on and talk up a storm about her adventures at the courtroom. 

"Mommy said you have to come and speak to them. Why?" Ellie says and put down her pencil to focus on annas answer "because when children are asked to testify, they usually want a therapist to assess that the child is competent to testify and to give some history and insight on the child from a professional standpoint" she tells her. 

"I am competent" she says and cross her arms. The fact that my six-year-old knows what that means is funny to me. "of Couse you are Ellie, that's what I'm going to say to them. You're such a clever little girl, they just need me to come and talk a bunch of boring adult words to explain it to everyone else. I know just how smart you are" 

She asks more questions about what the courtroom looked like, and Ellie explains all the chairs, benches and how it looks just like her book. That's something she has been excited about that it's just like the book she has been reading and she has also been reading a book for children's what lawyers are because she asked about it. It's probably not what you would ordinarily give your six-year-old, but Ellie is gifted after all and loves to read about stuff to understand what's going on. The books are also meant for children so it's fine, we actually asked the prosecutor's office about recommendations that are appropriate for kids. 

"What do you think about having to explain to the jury and judge what happened?" she asks Ellie and Ellie sighs and continue to color the picture she was working on. "I don't want to tell them. I don't want people to know. I don't want to remember. It gives me nightmares. I don't like him, he is mean" 

"Why is it important that you go there and tell the truth? Your truth" anna asks and Ellie colors in the sun she has drawn "because it's always important to tell the truth. I don't like lies, they are annoying and mean" she sighs. 

"But I don't want to tell them because Adam said that if I told anyone the secret then no one would believe me and he would hurt me, and I don't like being hurt. It makes my body ache all over. And the bruising Is gone now, and I don't want more" she says and get up from her place on the floor to sit next to me and get in under my arm to snuggle. 

"We have talked about how there are good and bad secrets. Can you tell me what a good secret are?" she asks and Ellie nods "what mommy and I are going to get for daddy or aurora or Kenzie for Christmas" 

"that's right, and what's a bad secret" anna asks and Ellie looks down "if someone hurts me. Or if something does something illegal. Or if anyone touches me inappropriately, I need to tell mommy or daddy" 

"Did Adam touch you inappropriately" she asks and that makes my heart sink "no I've told you. Mommy said it was for grownups and I'm six years old! I'm not a grownup" she says loudly and dramatically throws herself back on the couch. 

It's been a question she has asked Ellie several times and it makes me irritated that she keeps asking the same thing, but I know it's because she wants to make sure that it didn't happen, and she just didn't tell anyone. I remember when we had that conversation with Ellie years ago, and we keep having it as many times as she needs. If she asks us questions about it, we try to answer them as good as we can.