All in the Game

Chapter twelve || Double trouble

𝐍𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 

Time stood still I sat in my booth watching as Abby quieted the two little boys. They called her mama, she's a mother? Abby always wanted to be a mom, and now as I watch her with the two boys I'm without a doubt positive that I made the right choice in letting her go. 

Had she stayed with me I wouldn't have been to give her what she wanted. I was more focused on my career, then marriage or raising a family. No matter how much she told me she would be fine, she would have hated every second of it. 

Abby's full attention is on the boys, giving me time to get a good look at them. They have her ocean blue eyes, and the same exact smile as her. Other than that they look exactly like...

𝑯𝒐𝒍𝒚 𝒇𝒖𝒄𝒌.

No, it can't be! I might have been gone from the creek for a while, but I think I would know if I had any kids? It's impossible, we used protection every time. I made sure nothing like this would ever happen so how did it happen? 

They aren't mine they can't be. But the longer I stare at them all I can see is me. They look exactly like I had at that age. "Mom?" I ask shocked more than anything. Abby turns her attention back to me, as the color drains from her face. "I think we should talk now." Is her response. 

I don't speak as she sends the boys to a booth near the back, or as she settles into the bench opposite me. "You are a mother?" Is the first thing to leave my mouth. Not how? Or am I the father? Though I already know the answer to the later question. 

"Go ahead," she says closing her eyes. "What?" 

"Don't play dumb Nathan. Ask me the obvious question I know you are dying to ask." 

"How...when...why?" Is all I can manage to get out because I'm still in shock about the whole situation. "After you left things started feeling off, I took a test it was positive." 

"But we used protection we were safe." 

"Well...clearly not safe enough." 

She has this sad look on her face, and I wish more than anything I could reach across the table and grab her hand. Then I remember she hates me at the moment and that may make things worse between us. I'm trying to build back our friendship not lose it altogether. 

"Well how come no one thought to tell me?" 

Abby glares at me, "I tried Nathan I tried for years on holidays, and every year on the boys birthday I tried! You never picked up the phone." 

My heart stops because I remember ignoring those calls countless times, thinking they were unimportant. How wrong I was. Had I known I never would have ignored them. I shouldn't have ignored them in the first place. Abby has always been my dream girl, and I was lucky enough to get her, and even stupider to give her away. 

"What are their names?" 

She smiles," Baxter Hayes is the one there." Abby tells me pointing to the boy playing with a toy plane. "And the other is Ace...Nathan." 

I turn my head so fast to look at her it hurts. She named them both after me, even though i have been a horrible father, even though I abandoned her to take care of them alone. "Abby I'm here now, I will do whatever I can to help. I just got a job I can help pay for things—"

"Nathan stop...you coming back changes nothing. I have taken care of them for years, me! Not you, we don't need your help." Which is so like Abby, even back in college she refused to let anyone help her with anything.

 She's looking down at her fingers and it's then I realize the truth of something she had told me earlier today. "That's why it's taken you for years to move on? Not because of me but because the two of them are a daily reminder of us?" What we could have been, what we should have been.