All in the Game

Chapter thirty-nine || Here to stay

𝐍𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 

Boarding the bus I don't even turn to see if she's watching. Though she is I know this because I know her. Abby's the type of person who will watch as someone leaves her over and over again, and still never truly hate them for it. Part of me wishes she would hate me for it. Hell even I hate myself for leaving her again. It certainly would make this a whole lot easier, but in the end she doesn't hate me and part of her never will. 

Finding a seat near the back that way I won't be bothered by anyone, and can have my privacy. I watch from the window as Abby's form goes farther and farther from the bus. Taking my heart with her, because as long as she is alive on this earth my heart belongs to her and her alone. 

No one else will ever have ownership of my heart but her. It's hers if she wants it, and if she doesn't it's still hers it always will be. She turns her head checking to see if I've miraculously changed my mind, when she sees I'm nowhere to be found she continues to walk. I guess she decided not to watch after all. 

Looking at the time my watch reads twelve-fifty. It takes about an hour and a half to get to Wilmington from here, and that's not counting breaks and gas stops. I'll make it on time without coach ever expecting a thing. 

But for once my mind is clouded and I'm not thinking straight. All of the sudden I could care less if I make it back in time or not, and then I remember what Neil told me. About how if he could do it all over again, he'd make different choices, he'd choose the girl. I remember thinking the same thing when I first came back, and look how well that turned out. Saying something and doing it are two different things, you can say something and never truly mean it. 

Sure, Abby told me to take the job to leave her, and at the time it seemed like a good idea. But I made a promise dammit and I should have stayed even if she wished me gone. Because if there's one thing Lucy ever taught me it's that to make a promise is to follow through with it despite the outcome. And I couldn't even do that. But not this time, this time I choose her, I choose my heart, my home. 

"Stop! Wait!" They're closing the doors and everyone is settling into their seats. My legs pick up pace and I'm out the door just as they close. Realizing a moment too late that I left my bag on the bus. However, there's no time to worry about that. My legs are moving faster than they ever have I swear I didn't even run this fast when I played baseball. 

Pushing the bus station doors open, pushing myself harder and harder I catch her as she's opening the door to her car. This is it my last chance. Visions flash in my head, visions of her getting in that car and leaving going back to the boys without me, and living their lives without me. More come in of me not showing up to the game and getting fired. Pushing those out of my head for good I do the one thing left to do. "ABIGAIL NORAH WILLIAMS!" 

She whips her head around so fast it's sure to leave a strain. Her face goes from surprised to confused then back to surprised. As we run to each other meeting halfway. "Did you forget something?" I shake my head. "Did you get on the wrong bus?" Shaking my head again, "no–" 

"Don't tell me Chad found out and already fired you?" She rambles on and on not giving me and opportunity to speak. "Abigail...Abby," I say and she looks at me really looks at me. "I don't understand..." Huffing because how could she be so oblivious to this? "If I go back to Wilmington, I don't just leave all of this behind." Waving my arms for emphasis in doing so I whack a bug by accident. "I leave you, the boys, my heart behind and I can't do that I refuse to do that again." 

Her eyebrows are raised and she's not saying a single thing which is making me nervous at how quiet she's being. "I–"

"No, let me speak before you say anything." She goes quiet again, and I continue. "I love you Abigail this..." I point to my heart, "it belongs to you and you alone. I have loved you since I first heard your laugh, since that day in college when you spilled coffee all over your shirt."