All in the Game

Chapter thirty-three || A hard goodbye

𝑁𝑎𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑛 

Hearing the love of my life tell me I should take the job offer hurt worse than I thought, watching her drive away and not doing anything to stop it just about killed me. I couldn't even look Lucy in the face when I went back inside, she had heard everything and there was no way I wanted to relive that right now. 

Going straight to my room my face collides with my bed. Wanting to just forget today and the look on Abby's face when she told me to take the job. In that moment I watched all the light drain out of her, and it confirmed what I've known for weeks now. 

That no matter how hard I try , no matter what promises are made I will always be the one to break her heart. Thunder sounds in the distance. I don't recall there being rain on the forecast for today. It's ironic though that the day should end in rain. 

I've always associated rain with sadness, and that's exactly how I feel. "Nathan, can I come in?" Lucy asks from the other side of my door. 

I want nothing more than to send her away I'm not in the mood, and I really should call Chad about the news. But in the end, I tell her yes, because it's Lucy and I've never been able to tell Lucy no. She opens my door slightly poking her head in. 

Her eyes examine the room, before she comes all the way in and closes the door behind herself."I take it you heard everything?" She doesn't answer just sits beside me in the bed and watches me carefully. "It's really over this time..." I say closing my eyes shut before she can see the tears forming in my eyes. 

Lucy disagrees speaking, "there's still time go to her show her that it doesn't have to end like this." 

"You don't get it Luce she told me to go. I GAVE HER A DAMN CHOICE! And..." my words come out all shaky. "And she made her decision." 

"So that's it you're just letting her go?" And even though it hurts to say  I say it anyway since it's the only thing left to say. "If that's what she wants than I'll do it, I'll do anything to make her happy." She nods getting up and heading for the door. Hand on the door knob she asks, "is it what she wants though?" 

When she doesn't receive an answer, she leaves. What a silly thing to ask. Why wouldn't it be what she wants? I gave her a choice and that's what she picked. If she loves me, why would she pick any other option than to be with me? 

It's all just too confusing and all I want to do is drown the noise out. Grabbing my headphones, I put them on and turn on a random playlist. The first song to play is '𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑎 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒' by Julia Michaels and Niall Horan. Which is the perfect definition of how mine and Abby's relationship ended, and how all we are now is a distant memory. 

After the empty feeling has left me and I've had time to do even more thinking, I decide it's time to finally call Chad about my decision. The phone rings twice before he picks up. "Nathan? I'll be honest I didn't think I'd be getting a call back this soon. Does this mean it's good news or bad news?" 

He sounds a bit tired and I hope I didn't wake him. "I thought it over and I would love to take the job." 

"That's amazing news! We would love to have you by Monday if that's ok with you?" 

Monday wow that's...soon. I was expecting more like the end of the month. Monday is hardly any time at all to say goodbye. Trying my best to hide my disappointment as I say, "great! See you Monday then?" Before ending the call. 

This is a good thing I have to remind myself. It's what I've always wanted, sure it's not going exactly how I planned. But this job is the closest I'll ever get to playing baseball again. So, how come it feels like a knife has been driven through my heart?