All in the Game

Chapter thirty-seven || Is it really a choice

𝐍𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 

Life has become an endless cycle of get up, work out, coach, call Abby and the boys, repeat. In fact, as of right now the late-night calls with Abby go until one in the morning is the only thing I look forward to anymore. Don't get my wrong I love assistant coaching, but lately it feels as though I only took the job because Abigail told me to. 

If I had the chance to go back home I'd take it in a heartbeat. Hell, I never should have left in the first place. We were both too stubborn to do anything about it, in doing so I'm here regretting life. While she's back home grieving the loss of someone close. 

I should be there with her holding her comforting her, then it hits me that this is what she wanted and find some way to move on. I swear she doesn't make it easy every time I'm close to finding normal here, she sends me a picture of the boys, or her sometimes both and it changes things. 

"Night daddy," Baxter calls once more as Abby guides the boys to their room to sleep. Then coming back so the two of us could have our own conversation. After I left, we used to end our talks as soon as the boys went to bed. It wasn't until Val passed away and Abby needed someone to talk to that we started what I like to call late night chats. 

"Nathan..." shaking my head I snap out of whatever trance I'd been in. "Are you ok? That's the second time tonight you've gone somewhere else." Her words aren't harsh I just don't like the way she makes it sound like I don't want to be here. "Everything's fine just normal baseball stuff. What were you saying?" 

"I was talking about Val writing me a letter." Is that even possible? She then pulls out a piece of paper and starts reading, and holy shit not only is it insanely possible but the things written in the letter are a whole new plot twist I didn't see coming. "So, yeah..." wow is the first thing that pops into my head. But even that isn't a big enough word to describe what I've just been told. 

This is huge and it hurts knowing I won't be there to watch her dreams come to life. After all it's her turn to get happily ever after while I cheer her on. She wanted me to chase my dreams but none of it matters to me if she's not doing the same. "That was nice of Val." 

Val was an amazing woman, and I wish I had taken the time to get to know her better. While this must be sad and confusing for Abby, losing someone then receiving a letter full of hope. I know she will keep Val's memory alive. "Wow this is huge!" 

"I know it shocked me as well." 

"So, are you planning on keeping it the same or..." 

She takes a moment to reply, and when she does, she shocks me. Like she always has. Abby is the type of person who can have everything planned out but still leave a person not knowing what the next move will be. "I'm glad things are working out for you," I tell her. "You deserve all the happiness." 

I try my best to put on my biggest fake smile. Not that I'm not happy for her, I just wish she could be happy with me there by her side. Checking the time, it's late and if tomorrow's practice is anything like today's I'm going to need all the energy I can get. Yawning I give her a frown, "I should probably head to bed." 

"Yeah...sleep tight." 

"I can't promise anything." 

She laughs which very well may be my favorite sound in this entire world. If there ever comes a time when I can't hear it I might actually die. "Oh, before I forget we're having a remembrance party for Val this Saturday. You're coming right? I know you're busy but this means a lot and I...would love it if you could come." 

Which isn't a confession that she wants me to come back, but at least she wants me to come home for this, to be there for her. "I wouldn't dream of missing it." And she nods because when I make a promise, I try my hardest not to fail them. I sleep easier that night knowing that things are looking up for the both of us.