Raging Hearts- Jaylor

Turned Tables

[Taylor's POV]

Here I am again, at the cemetery. Now if I tell people that this place gives me peace and somewhere I can cry, they'll probably think I'm crazy because they don't know that.

With a bouquet of daffodils, which used to he his favorite, I sat in front of the tombstone, where his name was engraved.

It used to be difficult for me to visit him because it broke my heart. He never visited me. Well, it's not like he has any choice.

I come here and vent to him because I know he is the only one, besides my mom, who wouldn't judge me and would understand me no matter what. Mom is resting in Nashville, and he is here, in Paris.

"I brought flowers for you" I say with s content smile on my face.

"I'm sorry I always show up and complain about my life and cry. I know you are resting and you are supposed to have peace, but you chose me, so, you'll never have peace" I say ironically.

I have friends like Sel and Abi, but he was something else. I trusted him more than I ever trusted anyone. He loved me, and I returned his love. It was equal.

I sure miss him, but I'm trying to move on. It isn't easy for me to fall in love now, because everyone leaves me. They either die, or find me annoying and a troublemaker. So, they leave me. He was the last person I let myself het attached to so much. And he left me too. And I can't be attached to someone again, because I doubt my heart could take another loss.

I clear my throat and then say, "So, Launter, remember Joe, that school enemy I told you about? So, i-I started dating him. We went to an amusement park yesterday. And there, the paparazzies, referred to me as his bitch, as his 'just another fling'. It hurt me. I kept my mouth shut about it, just told avoid a scene. But I'm still hurt. And then, I twisted my ankle and he had to carry me back to his car and my apartment" I say as tears started to stream down my face. My voice started to break as I continued, "And he held me just the way you held me. I could feel the sense of care in his touch and it reminded me of you. And then when he left me in my room, I hugged him. I couldn't hold my tears anymore and I broke down silently. He must think I'm such an idiot. Well, he always thought so, but still"

I was in the middle of venting until I received a call. I looked at it and said, "sorry I gotta take this, it's Joe!"

Oh shit. Last night......... I slept while crying. Omg it's gonna be so awkward!!! But I have no choice to answer this call or we'll bump into each other somewhere and it'll be even more awkward.

"Ummm hey......" I say.

"You alright? Because last night.... " He trailed off.

I kept my hand on my forehead and looking down, I said, "Yeah yeah, I remember. And I'm so sorry for my behavior. I totally ruined our amazing day"

"Ummm listen, I'm at the set right now. So we'll wrap up sometime. So can i meet you tonight?" He asked.

"Okay sure. My place? Or ummmm" I asked. He's seen my place now. But when would I see his place.

"Your place? Sure done!" He said and disconnected the call.

I think the dinner is at my house today and I'm super nervous. Joe never saw me cry ever before except that night at the beach when it was my mom's birthday.
That was the night the bond between us changed. I didn't know if we were enemies or friends at that time.

I embarrassed myself big time and I wish I could just be invisible.

I realized that I need some time to escape the reality. So I take my backpack and pull the book I'm currently reading, 'conversation with friends' out of it.