I Don't Need Your Help (gxg)

Chapter 34: Dino nuggies

Melissa's POV
God, Y/N is so frustrating sometimes, she can be so loving and affectionate, but at the same time she can be so cold and tough, but I know she's just hurt and on the inside she's just a cute little baby.

She's in her room right now, probably drawing and listening to music as always, it's like that's the only thing she ever does in her free time, but I get that it's helping her in a way.
I don't know if I should leave her alone or come get her. I know for a fact she hasn't eaten anything today, so I gotta get some food into her. I don't want to force her into eating, but she's just so thin and if she keeps going like this, she's gonna disappear into thin air. I know having an eating disorder or anorexia is really tough, I mean I've never been through it, but I can just imagine, so I wanna help her get through it and just help her see herself the way I see her.

I knocked on her door a few times to no response, so I walked in and sure enough I saw her with her headphones on drawing something in her sketchbook. I placed my hand on her shoulder to let her know I'm behind her and she turned around startled. "Hey, can you come downstairs please?" I asked her once she took her headphones off. "Why Melissa?" Her voice sounded a bit harsh, but I know I shouldn't take it personally. "You need to eat something Y/N. And I know you don't want to, but I'm going to be there every step of the way, or if you wanna eat alone that's fine too, but you need to eat something okay?" I tried to make my voice sound soft, so she wouldn't feel threatened or anything. "Okay, sure. Whatever you want Mel." She sighed while standing up.

"So is there anything in particular you wanna eat, or...? Or we could do something together, that way it will take your mind off of it and it could be fun." I suggested and after a while of thinking, she agreed. I smiled at her, happy that she's willing to try something new.

We decided on french fries with dino nuggies and fried vegetables. She was really happy about dino nuggets, I could just see the sparkle in her eyes and her inner child appear. I think this might be easier than I thought. "Awww, you're cute when you're excited about something." I grinned at her. Gosh, she's so cute right now. "No I'm not, I just think dino nuggies are cute and awesome, still don't wanna eat them, but I'll try, don't worry." She smiled, looking into my eyes as I walked closer to her and put my hands on her waist. "You are cute princess." I watched as her face turned red and she looked away, avoiding my gaze. "Well let's make dinner now, shall we?" I walked away to start cooking.

"Okay, so now we only need to wait for the fries and it should be done." I said to her as I turned to see her sitting on the kitchen counter looking at me. I saw that she was a bit anxious, as she was playing with her fingers again, something we talked many times about, that she should stop doing. I walked over to her and took my hands in hers as I stepped between her legs. "Don't be nervous baby, it's going to be okay. Nothing bad is going to happen. I'm really proud of you for trying this, okay?" I kissed her cheek for reassurance. "Okay, I just really don't want to Mel." She sighed playng with our connected hands. "I know baby, but I'll help you." The sound of the air frier that the fries were in went off, so I went to go get it.

Now we were sitting at the dinner table with our plates in front of us. I started eating my food and watched Y/N as she just played with hers. I didn't say anything, hoping she'd try to eat on her own, once she'd see me eating. After a bit she took a few bites and I had to stop myself from grinning, 'cause I didn't want her to feel pressured, I just wanted to act as normal and natural as I could right now, so she'd understand that everything's okay.

She was silent the whole time drinking water in-between every bite and when she was done she put her fork down. There was still a bit of food left on her plate, but I was proud of her for eating anything at all. "I'm so proud of you baby." I reassured her, taking her hand into mine and drawing small circles on her palm with my thumb. She looked down, avoiding my eyes and I couldn't really tell what she was feeling. Maybe guilt? Maybe she was ashamed? "What are you feeling baby? Do you wanna talk about it?" She just sighed as she took her plate and got up. "I'm okay, I'm just feeling a lot of things right now, I think I'll just go to my room." She said with a bit of sadness in her voice. "Okay well, just know that I'm proud of you and if you need anything, I'm right here okay?" She nodded and walked away, going upstairs into her room.

Y/N's POV
I walked into my room feeling the stress and anxiety enter my body. Why the fuck did I eat? Why am I such a disappointment? I can't do anything right. I walked into the bathroom and locked the door. As I looked into the mirror, I saw a few tears escape my eyes and run down my red cheeks, I look so tired and exhausted. God I look horrible. I started examining my body. I looked at my waist as I saw a few ribs appear. I looked at my chcest, seeing my prominent collarbones. My stomach isn't flat enough. My ribs aren't visible enough. I started picking at the skin around my stomach, arms and thighs. I feel so horrible. I shouldn't have eaten. I started pacing back and forth around the small bathroom, thinking. I should throw up. That's the only way I can fix it right now. "Do it. Do it. Do it!" I took my toothbrush before I got on my knees in front of the toilet. I put my hair in a rubber band and stuck the toothbrush into my throat without thinking. I hate doing this, but I can't stop now.

Once I was done I brushed my teeth and washed my face with cold water to get rid of the puffiness. My eyes were a bit puffy from throwing up, but you'd only be able to tell if you were looking for it.

I unlocked the door to the bathroom and got back in my room. I felt so numb, I didn't even wanna cry anymore, I just wanted to disappear into nothingness. Only then I wouldn't be a burden to anyone. I heard a knock at my door - must be Mel. "Come in." I said quietly, my voice muffled by the pillow smushed into my face. "Hey princess. You okay?" Melissa asked softly as I felt the bed dip next to my back and her hand on my back, her thumb drawing soothing circles on my back. "Ummm, y-yeah I'm good. I'm just really tired and I dunno, I'm just a bit overwhelmed." I stated, my body turned away from her, since I still haven't turned to face her. "I get that, do you want me to lay down with you or do you wanna be left alone right now?" I thought about my options - If I stay alone, I'm only gonna make myself feel worse. If she stays with me I'm gonna be able to fall asleep and she'll make me feel better without even trying. God I don't deserve a person like her. "Can you maybe stay with me?" I turned my body to look at her and saw that she was smiling. "Of course I can baby." She quickly pecked my lips before she layed down next to me. I snuggled closer to her letting the sleepiness take over my body.