Welcome to the Statehouse/Table Oneshots and Headcanons

California Headcanons

TW: Talks of addiction and substance abuse. I'm putting those headcanons in bold with a linebreak before and after so it can be avoided.

- Cal is neither NorCal or SoCal, but a combination of the two (plus all the other regions). It's just that sometimes the SoCal aspects of his personality can get stronger than the rest.

- Also, the way to California's heart is to call him Cal and not Cali. Cali is annoying, Cal sounds...sweet and fond and it makes his heart soar.

- Can get pretty damn chaotic when he wants to. He doesn't often, but he does love to fuck with Gov and the other states as much as the rest of the country.

- Horrible cook, this man cannot cook to save his life. Don't let him in the kitchen unless he's getting a drink or making like, toast.

- A really good surfer. Hawaii obviously has him beat, but of the Lower 48 he has them beat by miles. I don't know enough about surfing to spout out the technicals but he's really good, trust me on that.

- Movie buff for obvious reasons. Completely unfazed by horror movies and will make fun of all romance movies. Talks through movies because he's an ASSHOLE (no shade, I also tend to talk through movies but I get the sentiment). It takes a really good and really prolific movie to get him to shut up. He is not invited to movie nights, or if he is he has to sit in the back with somebody who will listen to him and not kill him. This is unfortunately usually Iowa or Indiana or Nebraska, the certified good boys and forever butts of jokes from the midwest.

- He's also a good actor, for the obvious reasons. I can also imagine him doing standup for fun.

- Had serious Beatlemania when they crossed over to America. He wasn't the only one, but God was he the most fucking annoying about it

- I like the headcanon that he used to have golden tips from before the gold rush and after they fell out. I think he misses it and will sometimes dye the tips back to blonde. However, he's been made fun of for it before so he doesn't do it often.

- Very artistic, loves painting, sculpting, digital art, drawing and trying out new styles. He has numerous sketchbooks full of his doodles and sketches, and he has a lot of canvases in his room that he he's painted on. He doesn't like to show them to others however because he knows that this will be another thing to make fun of California for. He's not very confident in his artwork as such.

- He's a bit of a jack of all trades, with many different interests and skills. Acting, art, comedy, surfing, technology, film making, sports. I imagine he also enjoys reading and writing.

- Kinda classist? His hatred of the south is fueled by their shitty politics, but he also genuinely believe they're dumb and uneducated and below him. If someone points this out he will shut down and have to reboot himself.

- Also has a slight superiority complex. Often believes himself to be better than other states and to have the moral high ground.

- I don't hate California, but he's not a perfect guy and has his faults.

- Most likely to be a Slasher villain. He just has the vibe that he could snap and start killing people and pull a Billy Loomis or something. Sometimes he'll just spout out facts about how to get rid of bodies or get away with murder and it makes Gov uncomfortable. Good for California it gives the Northeast some respect for him.

- Was insanely excited to move into the Statehouse, and even more excited when it was moved to California. He desperately wants to get closer to the rest of the west and make more friends with the states.

- Deals with bouts of depression and usually in those instances it is Gov who drags him out of bed and helps him out. Utah will also sometimes lend an assist.

- Has a complicated relationship with Gov as Gov represents the federal government and he hates that especially when Gov acts as they want him to, but Gov as a person is usually quite nice and kind to him. These conflicting feelings make it easier for him to just pretend he hates him.

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- California has had struggles with substance abuse. I offhandedly mentioned it in the music headcanons, but yes, California had a lot of issues with drug abuse in the 60s-80s. Of course those years were not all bad, he did a lot of protesting which was good and he had sober moments, but so much of those years is marred by his severe addiction.

- For him it started out as something fun and a thrill and way to feel a higher plane of existence, but quickly became a horrible addiction and crutch.

- Not all states take sobriety seriously, personifications work on different rules than humans, but California took getting sober very seriously. He started to try getting sober in 1988 and after some relapses is thirty years sober. His sobriety pins are his most precious possessions.

- His recovery was mostly on his own. Most states don't see substance abuse as a huge problem for them, immortality and what not. Gov was the only state he really confided in about this and he supported California during his recovery greatly. California can never really hate Gov because he helped him so much back then.

- Like I said California takes his sobriety very seriously. He won't even drink wine or smoke pot because he knows that any small slip could lead to a massive fall.

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