Outcast | KNJ

44 | 𝚌𝚕𝚘𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚎 - epilogue

"You should not be lifting that."

Despite being prompt people, it had now taken them five years to finally clear and sort out the house they had been living in for the past eight years.

After Pam passed, they both sorted out her house and everything that they were aware had been given to, finding out that the Pebbles in question had been a stray cat that was always followed by a bird, both always expecting and waiting for food.

So when new owners were about to move into the house, they made sure that they were both well fed as usual, which to their knowledge was still being carried on, Pam's last wish being proudly granted.

They also found out, through her letter, that she was indeed his grandmother, Joon's grandparent that he thought he never had, when actually she was right there, just under another name for the safety of him and her life.

They can both still remember the exact words written in the letter about that:

And Joon, you always wondered where your grandparents were, well here I am, I always wished to tell you truth, however after seeing and finding out the people your parents were involved with I decided to comply, for all they knew I stayed away, but I refused to see my grandchild to grow up, hence why I lived close by and made myself known as soon as I could when it was safe for both of us, I hope you understand.

"Stop complaining over my move, I'm not going to break something." Sung scolds him, lifting up a box from the sets that Namjoon had brought down from the loft, all collecting dust from whatever her parents had left behind.

Along with everything they had dealt with, they were not dealing with an unplanned pregnancy.

Despite being 7 months along, Sung didn't have a large bump, at first she was unsure on what to do, it wasn't like they were struggling or incapable to be parents, she just wasn't sure if she was ready, but then again when was she ever ready for everything her life chucked at her.

Eventually she decided to keep it, all the boys excited knowing there was going to be a mini them, all of them getting busy love lifes which never failed to entertain Namjoon and Sung at their struggles or losses.

"Actually your water could break, just take it easy like the doctor said, and lifting heavy things was precisely what they told you not to do." He said, pushing the boxes away, hands on his hips as he looked down at Sung sitting next to the box she had just picked up, completely careless.

"Are you going to join me and look through all this box filled with photos and letters or what?" Sung deadpanned, completely dismissing Namjoon scolding her, who quickly joined her, perching on the end

"What is all this?" He questions, lifting out envelopes filled with pictures of what he could only assume was Sung in her younger years.

"My beloved daughter Sung." she read out, turning the envelope to show Joon who's eyebrows rose in confusion.

"Open it."

"I'm going to."

Pulling out what looked like another letter, Sug began to read it, soon realising it was from her mother, all those years ago when she was sober for a while, the period when her father had started drinking again.

Hearing sniffles, Namjoon looks up seeing tears starting to roll down her cheeks, "What's wrong." he asks, putting down the photo he was looking at.

"Read that." she says passing over the letter, Namjoon quickly starting to read it wondering what had caused her to start tearing up.

"Sung, when you find this, I'm either going to be dead or you would have gone through the loft and found this and hopefully it has found you at the correct time.

I know full well your memories of me were never good, I understand that, I never wanted to be that kind of mother at all, heck I didn't even want to be a mother, but then again I never had control of my own life, the minute I stepped foot into the lifestyle you grew up around.

I want you to know a bit about me: I grew up poor and fatherless and often went hungry as my mother struggled to get in money, it wasn't until I was older, I started working at a bar and somehow ended up working at a strip club is where I met the man you grew up , no not your father, Hoo-woon was planning to tell you the truth about everything before he died, I hope he did.

Anyway so that was how I made money for us, more than my mother had made in a year, and then Tae-joon found me, and promised to give me a life, where I would have enough money to look after my now sick mother, all until she died when I was pregnant with you; she would have loved you.

Tae-joon did do that, except with the people he was around I was often looked down upon, and when they all discussed some plan to have children and force the business upon them when they were older I hated it, I was against it even however when I found out Hoo-woon chose me, I knew from then  it was only going to get worse, after being raped multiple times by Tae-joon we soon found out he was infertile, which is where Hoo-woon dragged me, quite literally, to another room and did it himself, which is where I ended up pregnant with you.

I knew from the day they started hitting me, you were going to have a horrible life, I always hated myself for it, the day I went into labour with you, was the only day I ever reached any compassion from any of them. From the day of your birth, I lived to see you grow up, no matter how things were from me, as long as you had a better chance of life, so if I am no longer with you, I gave up, I let you on your own which I'm sure you survived well. I also hope that young boy that was born same time as you are doing okay. In case you did never meet; his name was Kim Namjoon, he was lovely, I wished you were allow to be friends as children.

I really do hope you understand that you were loved by me, even if I did never show it.

Your mother.

"Wow." Joon huffs out, carefully folding the letter away, placing it back on top of everything as he lifts up the move and puts it on the floor by their feet.

"I was not expecting that." Sung sniffles, letting her body fall into Namjoon as he pulls her into his arms, running his fingers up and down her arms knowing it calmed her.

"Did it give you closure though?"

She nods through her tears, grabbing a tissue from the table as she wipes her runny nose, huddling into her husbands side.

Never in her life would she have thought that she would have found her mother apologising, let alone telling her her life story.

She wouldn't have ever though that she was the one taking all the hits for her, when after all this time she thought it was what her mother wanted after the amount of times he did things to her when in fact it was the opposite.

At least she was living her wish: living a better life than she was.

Looking back, she realised how much everything changed.

She went from being the most bullied and hated girl in the city, called crazy and everything under the sun, all until she changed school.

Where her life completely changed, a change she never looked back on all because of one person.

Kim Namjoon.

[ the end ]