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"i got it , ash."
after the doctors told me how to properly care for my wound , and if i needed help , how ashtray or fez could help me. they let me go home.
and for some reason ashtray thinks it's his job to help me EVERY TIME i get up or try to do anything.
"no you don't." he lead me to the bathroom door , pushing it more open.
i limped in the room , giving ashtray a look and closing the door.
this shot hurts like a bitch every i sit down , so most of the time when i do sit down , i'll just stay there until i HAVE to get up.
"ow." i mumbled , sitting down on the toilet.
"you good?" ashtray said from outside the door , making me wonder if he heard me mumble.
"yeah." i finished , wiping and standing up.
"fuck." i mumbled , struggling to pull up my pants as it hurt to bend over.
as soon as i opened the fork ashtray grabbed ahold of my arm , but i winced making him let go of me and look at my arm.
"oh yeah , i forgot i had that." i said , referring to the cut i for when i tried to move out of that guys grip.
he shook his head , grabbing my hand and helping me back to the couch.
it was obvious ashtray was guilty , he knew if he never killed mouse this would've never happened to her. but also , fezco could've been hurt and he would've never met mariana.
so he didn't know how to feel , he just knew he felt bad. which is why he made it his job to help her at anytime.
before he got that text from her yesterday , he had planned on asking her the big question. he wanted her to be his girlfriend , officially. but when he got that text and then the call , plans changed and now , he doesn't know if it's the best idea.
she's hurt because of him , that's what he thinks at least. she could've died because of him. and it makes him almost hate himself because of it. he knows that if she would've died , he wouldn't have been able rot live with himself.
but mariana thinks way differently. she knew her dad was a drug dealer , even if ashtray hadn't been the one to kill him , someone else could've. and she could've went through that anyway. but instead ashtray saved her life , imagine if she never met him. she would've been left to bleed out. but he was there , so in no way was she upset or mad at him.
"ash.." i started , trying to find the right things to say but i didn't know what the right things are.
"hm?" he hummed , turning his head to look at me.
i signed , deciding i would put that conversation off until later. "can you help me go to your room?" i asked instead of what i was actually gonna say.
not even a second later he stood up , putting his hand out for me to grab. "now i can help you?" he jokingly rolled his eyes , pulling me up.
"yes. it hurts to stand up." i laughed , gripping onto his shoulder and limping to his room.
he helped me lay down on his bed , before laying next to me.
silence filled the room , both of us just laying there in a comfortable silence.
"i'm sorry." he very quietly said beside me , making me whip my head to him as i've never heard him say those two words together.
"for what?" he looked at me , giving me a look like he wished i hadn't heard that.
"you got hurt because of me , mar." he kept his whisper tone , not daring to look into my eyes.
i shook my head , grabbing his hand. "bullshit , you saved my life."
"i also put your life in danger." he said , now looking at me.
"you didn't , ash." i denied it , even if it was partly true , im sticking with be saved my life.
"i did it , mariana. they wouldn't have don't done that to you if he was still alive." he said , now talking normally.
"he was a drug dealer , that could've happened anyway. but if i hasn't called you.. i would've died." i told him , looking at the ceiling.
he didn't respond , i guess he dropped it which i was half about because i hated this conversation every time it was brought up.
"you know , i was gonna ask you to be my girlfriend that day." pulled me out of my thoughts , immediately looking over at him.
"why didn't you?" the answer was obvious , but i wouldn't care if he asked me when i was dying.
"you were dying." he looked at me.
"so? i would've said yes." i said truthfully , at least i would've been ashtrays girlfriend while dying.
AUTHORS NOTES:
i wanna make them get together soon so how should i do it? please help
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plss that's so embarrassing 😭 i was so tired last night i didn't even realize (i fixed it tho that thank you for telling me lmaoo)
