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me being bored at midnight , i pulled ashtray out of the house to go for a "little" walk.
"come onnnn." i grabbed ashtrays arm , pulling him down the street.
"this isn't a good idea." he sighed , finally walking with me.
"stop being so cautious , it'll be fun." i smiled , swinging our hands back in forth as we held hands.
he gave me a look , which i immediately understood. "shut up." i said before he could even say what he was thinking.
me being stabbed , blah blah.
"i'm serious mar , you could've died." he gripped my hand , stopping me from swinging it again.
"but i didn'ttt." i carried the T , smiling at him. "i'm alive and well , lighten up."
he just shook his head , letting me get the last word.
"that's so pretty." i thought out loud , keeping my eyes on the scenery ahead of us.
the city lights were bright , the street dark which made it look beautiful.
"look." i told him , pointing to one specific part of the lights.
he listened , following me finger to look where i was pointing. but he didn't give me a reply , just a small smile.
i could tell he was looking around every other second , looking at every car that passed and every person that walked near us at all. i didn't like how cautious he was now , i understand i could've died and i should be more careful now , but i don't wanna live in fear.
"ashtrayyy stop." i groaned , letting go of his hand to pull out my phone and check the time.
"what?" he replied , acting clueless.
i put my phone back in my pocket , the time reading "12:56"
"looking around , we're fine." i replied , looking ahead to see a long street that was lit up by street and store lights.
before he could reply , i grabbed his hand and said "let's run" only to be pulled back not even a second later.
"you're the last person that needs to be running right now." he shook his head , making me roll my eyes.
"i can walk , which means i can run." i told him , moving my hand from his grip to try and jog.
"mar." he said , walking fast after me.
"i told you." i chuckled , now walking next to him again.
after a couple minutes we reached a bridge next to a big building , it was dark , only being lit up by the dim lights on the building next to it.
but it was very pretty , it reminded me of some kinda movie scene , the water under it topped the cake.
so obviously me and ashtray stood by it , standing it comfortable silence while looking down at the water.
i thought about how i was perfectly fine that day , i was fine knowing i was about to die. i don't know , it was something about how ashtray was calling me when it all happened , it made me okay and at peace.
and how after i was stabbed , even if ashtray wouldn't have gotten in there in time , i was okay knowing he was the last person i talked to. the last voice i heard , and that person that heard my voice.
it's honestly scary how ready i was to die that day , when i could've thrown ashtray under the bus and i would've never been stabbed , but i couldn't do that. i didn't like the thought of him being hurt , not matter what he's done.
but over all , i was thinking about my dad. about how he told me he'd be back and never was. the good times and the bad times. what would've happened if he told me more about my mom and where she was. and most importantly , how it would've been right now if he never died.
but pulling me out of my thoughts , "mar.." ashtray. it wasn't that i forgot he was next to me , but after standing in silence for so long i felt alone.
i turned to him , pushing all the thoughts i just had away. "yeah?"
he seemed almost nervous , taking a step closer to me , which made me nervous.
this was the moment. he will never do it if he doesn't do it now.
he sighed , looking at one of my eyes and then the other. "i feel like a pussy." he told me , making me laugh not even knowing why.
"what?" i asked through my laugh , trying to read the room.
he smiled , taking a breathe before finally asking the question i've been waiting to be asked for months.
"will you be my girlfriend?"
in that moment it felt like nothing mattered , nothing else but this. not that two guys had stabbed me not even 3 weeks ago , that my dad was dad and i didn't really know my mom , nothing else.
i didn't respond , closing the gap between us , our lips meeting.
"yes." i finally said after a minute , making him laugh and kiss me again.
i could help but guilty though , was i letting down my dad in a way? is this wrong? probably.
but i couldn't overthink it anymore , ashtray makes me happy and i'm finally his girlfriend.
after the two made their way home , mariana smiled at the boy. after months of overthinking everything , she had finally realized...
he's the only one she needs.
AUTHORS NOTES:
bye idk if i like this ending 😭 but there you have it!
(sorry if you don't like this ending i just really really want to start the next book and i think this has went on for long enough , it's been almost three months lmaoo. also next chapter will be me saying more but for now yeah!! 💗)
