HIP #2: Summer Of Love

Chapter 45

It was a long journey...

There were lots of highs and lows. Laughter, tears, arguments, truths, lies, and fake smiles. Everything felt surreal as if I was dreaming. Everything I ever thought about happened one summer.

Peter Rivera came marching into my life as I'd never known him before, and I was a fool to think that everything could be possible.

They say that we should expect the unexpected, but sometimes things that you expect don't really happen the way you want them to. I thought this would be easy: I thought nothing was wrong with hiding what I feel for him, but it led me to disappointment.

Last night, he gave me my first and last kiss from him. I know I could never have it again because everything ended when we took our separate ways to our own rooms. Funny to think about the nights I spent staring at the walls of my room, thinking about if I ever crossed his mind. Then I figured out he always felt the same.

Maybe if we confessed in a distinct moment of time, then we could have our happy ending. Well, I can't do anything about it anyway because it already has happened. We showed how much we love each other in the wrong situation. If Britney and Shane only joined us, then I'm probably not feeling all these pains.

Or maybe if I also didn't come, then I'm happy with my family. What if we confessed earlier? Back when Chance and I weren't in a relationship yet. Or in the future, when Chance and I already broke up.

"Seatbelt please," he requested. I rolled my eyes and did as he said. I fixed the seatbelt and showed it to him after.

"Good. What Taylor Swift album do you want to listen to?" He fixed his seatbelt too and leaned on the back of his seat.

"I don't know... why don't you choose?" I want to listen to Folklore then to Evermore then to Fearless and every single song she has.

"No, you choose." Sometimes he has to know where to put his humbleness.

"If I can only play all of them in two hours then I would totally choose all of them." I guess one thing I learned in being with him for two months is to be true to the people around me.

"You can only pick two because it's only a two-hour ride." Right.

"Okay, Red and 1989?"

"Let's replace 1989 with Lover?" So he loves that because of the love songs in it? Pretty nice but I prefer sad songs.

"Not bad, this is your car anyway so... let's go!" I celebrated with my hands dancing in the air. Why am I ever celebrating when we're about to take our separate paths?

"Which album should we play first?"

"Your choice, Lover." He nodded and turned the Bluetooth on as it began playing the first song.

"Ready?" He asked together with the introduction melody of I Forgot That You Existed. I nodded and he started the car and it roared to life.

"🎵 How many days did I spend thinking about how you did me wrong, wrong, wrong? Lived in the shade you were throwing until all of my sunshine was gone, gone, gone. And I couldn't get away from you. In my feelings more than Drake, so yeah. Your name on my lips, tongue-tied, free rent, living in my mind but then something happened one magical night🎵"

The song was supposed to be calm but we both screamed our lungs out singing it with the windows down and the wind blowing in my hair while he was tapping the steering wheel through the beat. All the people we passed by looked at us awkwardly as if we were criminals because of our loud horrible voices but I couldn't care less. I ignored the way they judged us because I am with him, and this is the last time I can express what I feel for him. I swear to myself that this coming school year, I will only keep to myself all the things I think of.

"Maybe we should stop? We look like fools." He said with a chuckle.

"We are fools." We giggled harder.

As time went on, we passed by different houses, people, stores, parks, and songs changed moment by moment. Tomorrow, I think I wouldn't be able to speak anymore because I'm already losing my voice right now. It was a long ride with him. We talked about how we both became Swifties and why. He told me that he just liked the songs Taylor Swift made I finally had the courage to confess that he's the reason why I love her. We also talked about our favorite subjects and the ones we hate most.

Science got the most likes and Math is the most hated one by both of us. Too bad we don't like numbers. After a long time of laughing, fighting, screaming, complaining, explaining, dating, secretly loving each other, hiding our feelings, thinking if we cross one another's minds, and a long time of wrong love, this is where it ends.

It ends here, it ends with us.

This is the end of the summer of love we built together which would always be in our memories.

He stopped the car in front of my house, the one where we used to hang out as friends. I sighed heavily when he locked his eyes on mine. I don't want this moment to end. I want to stay and spend the rest of my life here with him if loving him is wrong.

"Charlie," he called. Then he tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear. And he gently rubbed my face. "Yeah?" I responded and it made him smile. His smile. That's everything I need in my life.

"Thanks for the memories. Thank you for everything. For trying your best to understand me though I'm like a crumpled paper, thank you for loving me though we both know it's wrong, for comforting me when my disorder attacked me, for always being there, and for everything you did just to make me feel how much you love me." I almost got some tears dripping down from my eyes but I don't want to ruin this precious moment where we would say our goodbyes as if this is the last time we would see each other. I faked a smile. Not that I don't like his statement.

It's just that I don't want him to leave me and I don't want to leave him. "I also would like to thank you for being perfect that I had to cry over your perfection." He lets out a giggle.

"It was such a nice summer with you. It's something that I would never forget or regret for the rest of my life. I would always keep you in my heart forever and ever. I know you're the right person for me. But this time isn't right for me or for you. Maybe next year? Maybe next decade? Next century? Next life? No matter when or where it would be, just know that I love you-" The tone of his voice showed that he wasn't done yet but I couldn't let him finish.

As a way to hold back my tears, I immediately leaned toward him and wrapped my arms around him as he tapped my back, I felt the sobs dripping down my sweater. They're dampening me. But it's nothing to worry about because it's him who they came from.

"I love you too." I got away and opened the door beside me. The long voyage for one summer of love has now ended. I got out of the car and shut it. I forgot to close the windows so I can still see him watching me walk to the door with a sad smile on his face.

I rose my hand to wave at him and he waved back. "Goodbye!" I screamed.

Maybe this is what they call sad happiness? When you're trying to make yourself happy in the middle of a sad situation. When did saying goodbye become easy?

"Bye! See you around!" He screamed and I wish he didn't.