𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚛 𝚋𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚎𝚊 {𝚑𝚎𝚎𝚔𝚒}

QnA about the book

Hi! (this is quite long but interesting dw)

This book ended and I thought that I should talk more about the bts of it and yeah.I'm gonna talk about some things that I think that they are interesting, then I'm gonna leave open sections for you questions about the book and another for your reviews, rates and constructive criticism not hate. To be honest I'd love to here your opinions on the story or the characters and in what it was lacking so please stay active in the comments~

Before I start I'd like to remind you that the fictional personality with its flows that was created around the idols is not in fact them and except their names and their appearances are all in fact FICTIONAL. So please don't think that I'm trying to assume someone's mental stability, sexuality or disorders. Thank you for the understanding.

[my qna]

Q0. Do they actually end up together tho?

 I'll leave an open ending. Maybe they do or don't. For me it's a no since they're the most unstable couple I know but just because I write this as the author doesn't mean that you can't picture them having a future together.

Q1. The characters' sexualities?

Well, starting off with Heeseung, it is known from the earlier chapters that he is in fact gay and demisexual.

 Ni-ki on the other hand, had only boy crushes and was romantically attracted to Heeseung but on the epilogue it is said that he had sex with his girlfriend although he wasn't romantically attracted to her. In fact, he himself has a lot of internalised homophobia, it shows more in the chapter with their first date where he says in his internal monologue that he feels disgusted when he sees to gay men together. To leave it here, I'd like to say that I prefer Ni-ki to stay unlabeled on this topic although someone might say that he's bisexual or gay(in a romantic way and not sexual). 

As for the other cast. Yang Jungwon, gay. Jay and Jake are bisexual. Sunghoon is ominsexual, Sunoo is pansexual and Sakurako is the token straight/ally.

Q2. Characters' disorders/mental illnesses?(tw. discussion of mental illness, suicide and self harm, underage drinking)

Although most of the supporting cast doesn't show any signs of mental health problems the two main characters are actually suffering from mental illnesses that's why their relationship was literally doomed from the first time they met.

First, Heeseung suffers from PTSD, general anxiety disorder and although he might shows symptoms of social anxiety he doesn't in fact has any of this. His PTSD symptoms are memory loss from traumatic events in his past. In the first chapter it is said that he takes pills for it and in the same chapter when his life in general is described from his perspective, he doesn't seem to acknowledge his own trauma until Sakurako (his childhood best friend) comes and briefly mentions it from in a 3rd person's perspective. Generally, Heeseung's past is quite hazy like it's never mentioned where he lives, something about his parents, his life or the past years of it. Now about the anxiety, in the whole book you can easily see that Heeseung is a really timid, anxious person and sometimes borderline paranoid. He's always nervous about new things, the way he acts, he has low self esteem, he puts no trust in himself as he thinks that he's meaningless or useless and he's always unsure about his thoughts or his sayings. For me as a person who suffers from anxiety, I think that I really highlighted his problem with sleep (he suffers from insomnia) to the point that he took prescription for it. Heeseung's anxiety was a severe case and that can easily be recognised due to the fact that he even felt that he was unable to be responsible on something (for example driving, cleaning) in some cases. Lastly he has abandonment and trust issues.