It All Started with a Beanie

(37)

Erin

I hear leaves crunching behind me and I quickly turn around. A gasp leaves my mouth as he green eyes stare into my head. 

"N-Neil. What are you doing here?" I'm quick to stand up, almost tripping over my feet in the process. He takes a step towards me but my feet back away from him. I begin to turn around and walk away but to my luck, I drop my beanie. I bend down to pick it up but he's quicker than me and swipes it from off the ground. 

I watch as my beanie sits in his hand. I can feel his eyes on my face but I refuse to look up at him. 

He wasn't suppose to find out.

Why did he follow me?

This is going to ruin everything.

He didn't need to know.

"Beanie?" Hearing my nickname flow out of his mouth causes me to look up at him, much to my dismay. I feel the hot tears flow down my face but I don't wipe them away. He holds so much pity in his eyes.

I flinch at the feeling of his skin on mine but immediately relax when I realize it's him wiping my tears. His thumbs slightly stroke my cheeks.

Before I know, I'm throwing myself into his chest. I begin sobbing and he is quick to wrap his arms around me. I find our bodies lowering to the ground, my face still buried in his chest. He rubs my back gently as his head sits atop mine.

I don't know how long we stayed like that but I find myself breathing with him eventually. I focus on the rise and fall of his chest and replicate the rhythm until we breathe in harmony.

"I'm not going to leave you." His voice emerges out of nowhere but I find comfort in the soft pitch. "I know you are scared that once people find out why you wear the beanie, they will leave. But I'm not most people."

I pull away and I smile at the sincerity in his eyes. I did not need to tell him why I kept it a secret, he figured it out on his own. He could never understand why those words mean so much to me but they do.

"Remember that night at the cabin when I told you about my dad?" He nodded. "Almost all of that story was true. The only lie I told was that I hit my head. My dad had pushed me to the ground and then shot me in the head before shooting himself. The doctors said it was a miracle that I was still alive but I have to live every day carefully. I get terrible headaches and nightmares because of what my dad did to me."

I finished my sentence and stare at my fingers as they mess with his. His hand sits limp as he lets me move his fingers.

"At my last school, I had befriended this girl named Tori. She was popular and the girl everyone wanted to be, except me. And since I was not interested in being just like her, she decided she wanted to get to know me better. We would hang out every weekend and got very close very quickly. I felt like I could trust her as much as I could trust Elliott but I was so wrong. I told her why I had to wear a beanie at a sleepover and by the end of first period that next Monday, the entire school knew that my dad didn't want me so much that he killed himself. I don't know what else she told people but I had hear enough. So when I saw her between first and second period in the hall, I punched her. She was quick to fight back and it was a nasty fight. I had fought before to shut people up but that fight was personal and ended with a lot of blood. Needless to say, our friendship was over and I was transferred to another school within the next couple of days."

I keep my eyes trained on his hands. Callouses line his palms and the underside of his fingers but the rough texture brings a sort of comfort to me. My fingers glide between his, going over and under them in the process. Something about his hands is so relaxing; I could do this all day.

I'm pulled out of my trance when he brings those beautifully calloused fingers up to my chin. He places my chin between his thumb and index finger. The other hand rests in my lap, where I momentarily pause the fiddling between his fingers and mine.

"Erin..." He draws out my name. He speaks in a soft, low pitch that makes music to my ears. He guides my face upwards, forcing me to make eye contact with him. So many emotions swim through his eyes; it's hard to focus on just one.

"Yes?" I say, my voice weak and frail. I feel the wall built up around my emotions crumble as I continue to stare into his eyes.

"Thank you." The two shorts words catch me off guard and I pull my eyebrows together in a questioning manner. "Thank you for feeling comfortable enough to tell me. I hate that you went through any of that but I am glad you feel like you could tell me." He smiles at me and I can't help but melt at the sight of him.

Without thinking, I press my lips onto his. He doesn't react immediately but he reciprocates the act. His hands wrap around my hips and lift me onto his lap. I straddle his legs as my hands find their way to his face. I cup his face before moving my hands to the back of his head. My fingers move throughout his hair and a deep growl erupts from him. As if instinct, I release a moan-like noise into house. I feel his mouth curve into a smile and heat rises onto my face.

Minutes later, my forehead rests on his as I try to regain my breath. His hands sit cautiously on my hips, my hands hanging loosely behind his neck.

"We should do that more often." His voice rings through my head. I open my eyes and catch a smirk playing on his lips. I begin to move but his grip tightens on my lips, causing a small gasp to leave my mouth. "Do you want to go on a date?" His eyes flicker back and forth between mine, trying to read my face.

I pause for a moment. I already know my answer but what fun would it be to not tease? "Let me check my calendar." I give a playful wink to him before standing up. With a grin on my face, I make my way to my car. I hear him stand up and quickly make his way to me. He grabs my wrist and turns me towards him. 

"Is that a yes or no, Beanie?" He adds a dominant tone to his voice and I find myself growing weak. 

It's hot when he does that.

Scared that my own voice will fail me, I nod. He places a kiss to my forehead before releasing his hold on my wrist and begins to walk to his car. I take in a deep breath and then turn around, following behind him.

We stop at our cars and face towards each other. 

"Can you be ready at seven?" 

"I think I can manage that." He shakes his head at my comment but maintains that gorgeous smile on his kissable lips.

"I'll pick you up. See you then, love." He gets in his car and I can't hide the smile radiating off my pulsing lips.

That boy does something to me.

But you like it.

I do.