It All Started with a Beanie

(39)

Neil

Blood. There was so much blood. 

The sound of the ambulance rings through my ears but it sound faint. My hands hold hers even though she's limp. I hear the EMTs talking to one another and doing things to her but I zone it all out. All I can focus on is the barely noticeable rise and fall of her chest. I watch every small movement her body makes, making sure she's still alive.

The doors open and people rush to get her out of the ambulance. I quickly get out and step out the way. They roll the stretcher inside and I follow behind them. No one stops me.

They go through countless doors before placing her in a vacant room. I attempt to step inside but a nurse stops me and tells me to wait outside before going in the room and closing the door.

Five minutes later, the rest of the group shows up. I had been told to wait in the waiting room despite my request to be outside the room. They ask me what's going on and I tell them what I know: nothing.

Ten minutes later, her mom shows up. She frantically asks the desk lady what's going on before she notices me. She asks me question after question and I do my best to answer them and relieve her worry but I know she won't be okay until she sees Erin.

Twelve minutes later, a guy walks in and immediately walks to her mom. Ms. Anna wraps her around around the man and I assume this is the guy Beanie said her mom was seeing. 

Twenty minutes later, Elliott and an older lady show up. Elliott asks me the same questions Ms. Anna did and I try my best to answer them but my mind is elsewhere.

An hour later, a doctor walks out from the door and I recognize him from the room Erin was put in.

"Dr. Lambert, what's going on?" Ms. Anna is quick to walk up to him. The brown-haired man pulls her aside and they begin talking quietly. I pace back and forth, needing to know what they're talking about.

"Neil, please sit. You're stressing me out." Liv demands. I open my mouth to retort but decide arguing with her is beneficial to no one. I sit down and interlock my hands. I stare at Ms. Anna and the doctor as they exchange words, trying my hardest to read their lips. But to my luck, I understand nothing that they say.

The moment they end their conversation and begin walking away from each other, I make my way to Ms. Anna.

"What did he say?" I ask, my words leaving my mouth so quickly they almost trample over one another.

"Did she tell you about her...condition?" She asks to the group. I nod but the rest of my friends shake their heads. "Years ago, Erin got shot in the head. She got lucky in where the bullet landed but has had to be careful. The beanie has been used a sort of protection to help prevent the bullet from moving further into her brain." She sighs and I look at the group. Liv looks unfazed, Ollie is trying to hold back his emotions, and Cam holds the greatest amount of pity in his eyes. "The bullet was pushed further into her skull. It's at the point where it needs to be removed."

"Why wasn't it removed in the first place?" Liv asks. She holds a slight tone of anger but holds back on her true thoughts.

"It was so close to her brain that trying to get it surgically removed could kill her. So we left it in. But now, if we leave it in, she could die." Tears begin to form in her blue eyes, which are just like Erin's. "I had to make the decision to get it removed. She's going into surgery now." 

Then it was a waiting game. Ms. Anna told us to go home and most everyone did but I couldn't; I had to be there for her when she woke up.

Two days had passed and she hadn't woken up. The surgery took hours but Dr. Lambert--I finally figured out his name--said everything went perfect and that she should wake up a couple hours after surgery. 

Well it's been more than just a couple hours and she's still sleeping. Why isn't she waking up?

I step through the open doorway with a knock on the frame. Ms. Anna smiles at me from the chair she's been perched in since Beanie got out of surgery. She greets me with a smile but I can tell she's just as worried as I am.

"Ms. Anna, you look tired. I can stay in here and watch her while you go get some coffee." I watch her face as she almost objects but she nods and stands up. She stops beside me, just before the door. She places her hand on my arm and smiles up at me.

"I'm glad she has you. If you hadn't been there, I don't know if she'd be alive right now. Thank you." I give her a nod in response and she continues her walk out the room.

I lower myself into the navy chair and sigh before picking up her limp hand. I place a soft kiss onto the back of her palm and then let her hand rest between mine. The heart monitor beats rhythmically and I find comfort in knowing that she's still breathing.

"Hey, Beanie." I start. I've see in shows where people talk to comatose patients and it helps wake them up. Why not give it a shot? "It's scary seeing you like this. I watched as the blood poured out your head and the life drained from your eyes. It was horrific." I pause, thinking I felt her hand move. I watch it for a few seconds and then conclude it was just in my head. "I hate that you're in here right now. You don't deserve this. You shouldn't have had to go through any of that. But damn, you can fight." I stifle a laugh and continue talking. "I like you, a lot. I don't know what happened, but I'm falling for you. I love the way your eyes light up when you get a blueberry muffin. I love the competitiveness you have for anything. I love watching you get nervous when we're close. I love the warmth you bring every time we touch. I love watching you blush when you get nervous. Everything about you is so damn perfect, Beanie. I could stare at you for hours and not get bored once. I know we've only known each other for a few months but I really do think there is something between us. But you gotta wake up so we can find out." I say the last part as a whisper. I bring my lips to her and kiss her for just a second before sitting back in the chair. 

My thumb lightly strokes her hand, something I know she likes me doing, as I scroll through my phone. I feel her hand flinch under mine but I don't pay any attention to it, since she's been doing that for the past fifteen minutes now.

Her hand then squeezes mine back. I look away from my phone and to her. Her eyes flutter slightly and I lean forwards.

"Beanie?" My eyes stay focused on her face and she begins to move more. She opens her eyes fully, blinking a couple times. Her eyebrows furrow as her eyes scan the room. She tries to sit up but I stop her from doing so. "Hold on, love. Let's get someone in here to look at you." I press the red button on the control pad connected to the bed before sitting back down in the chair. I find her mom in my contacts and press the call button.

"Neil? Is everything okay?" She asks, concern obvious in her voice.

"She's awake."