One Hundred Fifty

16 - That's all that Matter (Feelings .2)

Napatanga si Niro sakan'ya. Puno ng pagkalito ang mata. If it was just another situation she would've laugh on his reaction. Pero hindi...

Her parents wants her to have a therapist, but it's too hard for her to open up.

Kada titingin s'ya sa sarili ay naalala n'ya kung paano s'ya nito hinawakan, kung ano ang pinilit, ang muka nito habang ginagawa iyon... It's all coming back at her until it chase her down to sleep.

She desperately want out... If another man will make love with her, someone she trust, someone she love, someone like Niro... Maybe it would ease the pain? What's the point of not doing it with him? What's the point of cleansing her? Madumi naman na s'ya. Hindi na maalis pa ang mga sugat na iniwan nito sakan'ya.

"Okay. Let's make love, Love."

Si Clover naman ang nagulat na napatingin dito, she was ready for a decline. Something in her chest tremble, dumagundong ang puso. He'll really do it? With her? Hindi ba ito nandidiri sakan'ya?

"Y-you will? You're not... gross out?"

"To you?" Tumayo ito habang hawak hawak ang kamay n'ya at hinila rin s'ya patayo. "You're the purest in my eyes, Clover."

Tinignan s'ya nito sa mata, ngumiti. "Mag bihis ka na."

"Ha? What do you mean..."

"We're gonna make love aren't we?"

Nagugulohan man ay sumunod s'ya. Hindi n'ya alam, everything just feels like a black and white for her. Yes, sumasaya s'ya, tumatawa s'ya sa ilang mga jokes na napapanuod n'ya sa mga movie and in between that moments she would think, she would stop to see if the emptiness is still in her heart? Painfully, yes. That's why... Kahit ano. Kahit ano na makakapagpaalis sakan'ya sa kamanhidan na ito ay gagawin n'ya. She thought isolating herself for awhile, keeping herself from the judgement will keep her alive.

But no.

"Kaya mo na bang lumabas?" Niro asked when she dress herself in a beige casual dress, Niro's eyes scanned her and he smiled at the thought that it was also this same dress she wore on the day he admitted to himself he's falling in love with her.

Without a particular reason, Niro just felt the need to get close to her. So he did, and planted a light kiss in her forehead as he held the back of her hair. As his lips touch her confuse head, he also murmured a little prayer.

"Niro..." layo nito sakan'ya na nakapagpatawa sakan'ya.

At eto pa ang ganang mang alok ng physical something sakanila. But Niro knew better, what kind of making love Clover need.

"Saan ba tayo pupunta?" She asked as she shift her sight from the window of the bus to the person beside her.

He looked at her, straight to her eyes. "Uuwi."

Pagkababa palang ng bus ay sinalubong na s'ya ng pamilyar na hangin ng village nila. Nilibot ang paningin sa parke kung saan sila unang nagkita. Napangiti s'ya. She can still see the little girl stumbling down and a boy helping the girl to stand up. Clover clutch the handkerchief in the pockets of her dress. She thinks that this is the right time.

Sinalubong n'ya ang tingin ni Niro na nasa tabi n'ya. "Where to go...?"

"Ikaw, sa'n mo gusto pumunta?"

"Wala ka palang plano kung saan tayo dapat pumunta??"

Tumawa ng bahagya si Niro at kinamot kamot pa ang sentido. "Basta naisip ko lang na iiwas ang sarili sa kasalanan..." Pahina ng pahina ang boses nito pero narinig n'ya parin.

Napakurap s'ya at umiling. Boys will be boys, still.

Tinalikuran n'ya ito at nauna nang pumasok sa loob ng village na parke agad ang bungad. Nakakapaso ang init, nabawasan na rin ang mga puno kumpara sa dati kaya't kulang ang silungan.