One Hundred Fifty

22 - Your Beauty

Inhaling the blow of a sweet serene air, giving me colors of the wind as if it's red, blue, and green. May mga nag aawitang ibon sa taas ng puno na kasalukuyang kinasasadlakan ko. In front of me is a quiet lake, unbothered, and flowing. Parang ako lang. A lot of things stresses me out this past few days.

But here I am. Strumming my guitar with the perfect steamy day. Ahh, isn't it so pretty?

Dinama ko ang hangin at napapikit ako. All while strumming my memorized chords. Ang ganda talaga sa pakiramdam ng simoy ng hangin na dumadaan sa pagitan ng buhok ko, on my face, blew on my neck. As if on cue, I opened my eyes.

And I saw a goddess.

Napakurap ako sa babaeng nasa kabilang parte ng tahimik na ilog. She's in a beach dress, something you would wear in a summer day like, her hair is long and wavy with a crisp of brown at the edge. I don't have enough closeness to see her face completely but it's recognizeable who pretty she is as the flowers around her is. Hindi yung ganda na nakikita sa IG, hindi yung ganda na pang model sa Vogue, isang klase ng ganda na parang nagmula sa ugali at napunta sa muka. Ang ganda ng mata n'ya na wala mang kislap ay parang nangungusap habang malayang nakatingin sa ilog na walang sambit kang maririnig.

Wow, how lucky can I get?

I'm under a tree that shades me from the heat of the sunny day, at the same time blows me wind that touch my skin, a lake that says nothing, a beautiful woman in front of me with her picnic blanket, and a love for myself.

With that, I decided to give her a song.

"HI!" I shouted.

Nagitla ang babae at mula sa pagkakatitig sa ilog ay nagtagpo ito sa'kin. Uh-oh, I hope I didn't ruined her silent time.

"Hello...!" A soft voice came. Hindi ko siguro ito maririnig kung hindi lang dinala ng hangin ang mga katagang sinabi n'ya.

Thanks tree, you're the best.

"I WANT TO SING, WOULD YOU LISTEN?"

"Yeah! And you don't have to shout that loud!" A laugh came covered in a quirky voice that made me smile. Ang ganda ng ngiti n'ya. Ang sarap sa tenga ng mga tawa n'ya. It sounds like a music to me already.

"Okay! Please please, hear this music."

"When you're young you don't think about how good things have a bad side."

Nakita ko s'yang napangiti kaya ngumiti rin ako pabalik.

"You spend your time waiting around. For the fall not the goodbye. When you're naive and so green. It makes it hard to believe."

"How life works when you're older."

Does it makes things more gray when you're old? Or are we the one painting it dull?

"Even the best of us get hurt sometimes. Could be from life or love or "I don't know why" It's all out of our hands, nobody will ever understand. Don't blame yourself & don't ask why. That's the art of getting by."

Hinahangin ang mahaba n'yang buhok na sumasabay sa tunog ng gitara. Hindi nakatakas sa mata ko ang pag pula ng kan'yang ilong. Her smiles are fading away. Her lips turns downward and looked at the lake once more.

"It gets easy to become blind to. The good things when times are rough, but when there's nothing left to try do. It's okay to throw your hands up. 'Cause there's no use in getting burned."

Is she okay?

"From the same lessons that you learned. So carry them with you & be wiser."

She slowly nodded.

"Could be from life or love or "I don't know why" It's all out of our hands, nobody will ever understand. Don't blame yourself & don't ask why.
That's the art of getting by."

Now she's raising her head and looking at me again, with a tears in her eyes, beautifully sparkling against the sunrays.

"No life ain't a game. There's nothing to win, & no way to cheat
We all walk through flames. We all get burned from the heat."

"Even the best of us get hurt sometimes. Could be from life or love or "I don't know why" It's all out of our hands, nobody will ever understand. Don't blame yourself & don't ask why. That's the art of getting by..."

Ibinaba ko ang gitara at tinunton ang direksyon patungo sakan'ya.

"Hey..." She said between her sobs.

The lake is quiet, means it's deep as it should be, and I'm thankul I know how to swim.

I disappeared from a moment, I saw the lake as if it's endless, empty, dark, thanks to the sun that allows little light to pass through. I keep on swimming as it feels eternal. Pero paano naman ang nararamdaman n'ya? Mas pagod siguro s'ya kay'sa sa nararamdaman ko ngayon. Emotional wounds are much more hard to heal, hard to conceal, than physical. Because it's hard to know what's wrong with it. Wounds that has no bloods are hard to identify.

Until it just suddenly kills you.

Nang marating ang lupa ay naabutan ko s'yang sinisilip ang lawa, nagkakatitigan pa kami, her eyes are sparkling from tears, widened as she saw me and pulled me to get out of the water.

She stays silent for a second there, staring at me with a questioning look but she didn't say anything. So I started to think of explanations and I can find only one.

"I mean... You look sad."

With that she pulled me into a hug and burst in tears.

"Are you going to drown yourself?" Lalong lumakas ang iyak n'yabsa tinanong ko kaya napangiwi ako.

"Stranger... Whoever you are, always looked at the mirror and find yourself beautiful. Life, no matter how plain or painful it is, feel it..." I murmured in her as I gently pat her back.

She badly needs a shoulder to cry on since she didn't even think that she'll get wet too. I guess that's just how we are.

"Why did you sing me... that song?" she said in between her sobs. She let me go and I can't help but look at her face, and I wipe the tears of the stranger's face.

"Cause you're beauty made me sing."