Lacerta Black -- James Potter --

46

November faded quickly into December bringing with it a plethora of snow and weather so cold that it could make your toes freeze through two layers of socks. It didn't matter how much time passed, Lacerta would feel a part of herself gone for the rest of her days. This didn't stop her from smiling all day long and pretending that she was completely fine. She couldn't hide anything from James - who held her after she had nightmares that faded from her memory as soon as she was awake. That's where the couple found themselves at nearly three in the morning.

"Breathe darling," James hugged her tense body close to his own. Her head was laying on his chest as he hugged her as tightly as possible. His fingers combed through her hair which was slicked with sweat. "I'm right here. Hear my heartbeat?"

She nodded weakly, the air entering her lungs sounded shaky and more like a wheeze. He wished that she could open herself up to their friends so that all the stress didn't affect her sleep. Talking to his mom or dad usually got James through a tough time, eventually turning to Sirius or Lacerta when he was at Hogwarts, but his girlfriend never had anyone to talk to. She was used to not actually acknowledging her feelings and letting them haunt her dreams at night.

It was a common theme among the Black siblings.

"I can't remember," she sighed, finally feeling calm enough to speak. Her face was dry but he could see the way her gray eyes glassed over with tears that would refuse to fall. "It's the same one every night and I can never remember."

"Do you want too?" He asked, feeling confused. This was a territory entirely unknown to him, yet he was the only one that she trusted enough to open up to. She peered up at him with her gorgeous eyes that made his heart thump faster.

"No," she said. "I just want you to hold me and then I'll be fine in the morning."

"You don't have to. Be fine I mean. It's alright to just be sad for a while and let us help you through this," he whispered into her curls, kissing them gently. "We don't have to see you be the perfect person you present yourself as."

"It makes me feel better to act like I'm ok," she admitted softly. Sirius had once told him the same thing, back when they were still children and the future didn't look nearly as bleak as it seemed. Told under the comforting forts of their blankets with their curtains shielding them from greasy git's and abusive parents. Now, it was just him and his soulmate intertwined over the covers of his bed with nothing but each other. The world beyond them was meaningless. "You make me feel whole, James. Thank you for being with me even when I'm like this."

"I'm so in love with you, Liz, that you couldn't keep me away if I tried," he smiled sadly. It was the truth and it hurt that she felt like a burden for needing him when he would be nothing without her. "Don't ever thank me for being with you when you're upset. I'd sell my left foot to be with you no matter how you're feeling."

A smile broke out on her face, aged with a grief he would never wish on another human being. "I love you too. You're the other half of my soul." Lacerta hadn't kissed him since the incident, nor did he care or try to pressure her. Still, he was shocked when her lips faintly brushed against his cheek. He couldn't help but hold on a little tighter, hoping that all of their talking would help her feel whole again one day. He wanted to make the Slytherins pay.

Regulus had advised them against revenge - saying that it would only led to a more horrible outcome. If they wanted to play pranks on their peers then they would have to be careful on who it affected. It felt like they couldn't do anything without worrying about Death Eaters striking back. James assumed that it would only get worse once he joined the war at the end of the school year.

"Why don't we get out of this stuffy room? Go on a walk around the lake or something," he suggested when he felt the panic of a future not as bright as the one he planned with Lacerta. It squeezed at his chest and for a moment he could hardly inhale.

"That sounds lovely," she stood from his - their - bed with a bundle of clothing engulfing her small frame. He added on another coat over her shoulders because it was sure to be below freezing that early in the morning. He pretended not to notice Remus's sweater underneath all those layers. He was aware that the relationship between them could only be rivaled by his and Sirius's. They connected their hands after they were safely concealed by his family's cloak, creeping to the Black Lake.

It was peaceful as the morning sun peaked over the horizon to light up the night sky. It was just a dull haze of purple and pink, but she looked up at the sky like it held all the answers to the universe. They found a dry spot on the grass that didn't hold any of the morning dew to lay on. He watched he with that lovesick expression that made the boys gag as she explained all the constellations and their meanings, skipping over Leo and spending extra time on Andromeda.

He'd heard enough about Canis Major from Sirius that he didn't even need her to explain that one. He bit his lip to stop himself from doing something stupid like kissing her. She wasn't ready. So he listened and watched as she smiled with something that might have resembled peace on her face. He blinked a couple of times to make sure that she was real because she was everything he'd ever wanted and she was right there.

They were made of each other.