Lacerta Black -- James Potter --

52

There were only a few weeks before the Marauders and companions would be leaving Hogwarts for, well forever. A second home to them throughout the last seven years and for some, the only home they had ever known - raised in merely a house. The anxiety of leaving had more to do with the war than anything else. Nearly all of them would be joining the Order of the Phoenix. Mary Macdonald was the exception. 

"I'm not ready to die like all of you," she said through a mouth full of sobs after a righteous Sirius had lashed out at her for her decision. "I'm only seventeen! I want to go to University, meet someone I love, and raise a family."

Lacerta couldn't help but empathize, because she wasn't going to join either until her a James had a row about it. While she didn't care for the Death Eaters and had run away from all the things comparing her to her family, she still didn't want to face them on a battlefield. Her little brother hidden beneath a silver mask as he fired curses at her was her worst fear. It didn't help that Voldemort had a red target mark on her and James's back. 

Just the week prior, the friends had all gotten trapped in the Gryffindor common room before a Hogsmeade trip that resulted in a blood bath. Trips were canceled for the rest of the year. It was one of the first fights her and James had had while together. 

"I - I'm not ready to fight, James," she said with a stern expression as she chewed on her lip. The thought of him dead on the ground whilst her cousin laughed flashed behind her eyes. "I'm not my family, but they are still my family."

He looked disgusted. Something she never wanted to see on his face again. "What about Lily? Tonya? All of the other muggleborns or half-bloods. Bloody hell, Remus is your best friend!" She could tell that he was trying not to yell. 

This made her angry. "How dare you even think that I don't want them safe! It's not selfish to put myself first sometimes because you don't get it. You didn't have Bellatrix braid your hair when she was babysitting or have Narcissa giggle with you whilst eating ice cream in Diagon Alley or have Regulus. . . his still the little brother I've known and loved my whole life."

He deflated a bit, never one to stay angry too long. Not even with Sirius after the Prank. He walked up to her slowly, to ensure that she wasn't going to march away or curse him. "I'm sorry, Liz. You don't have to fight. This way I can make sure that you're safe all the time," he smiled gently. 

"I don't need you to protect me, Potter," she said with a warning tone. His arms wrapped around her and she hesitantly put her hands on his back before melting into him completely. "I don't want to lose any of you," she murmured into his chest.

He scoffed, "We laugh in the face of death, Liz! We are Gryffindors. None of us are going to die."

She thought he was very naive. 

Still, when Dumbledore asked them to write down their names (give their souls more like she thought), she wrote down her with big loopy letters. That was when the second member of the group backed down.

Tonya held the quill for just a second before leaving the paper without her name and passing it along. When they all stared at her, she merely shrugged. A shy glance at Lily's direction, who looked a bit betrayed. "I got an offer to study animals in America. It's a chance to get away from all of this. . . with my family."

Lacerta heart broke into millions of pieces since her friend had never even mentioned it and she felt horrible for not even asking. Too wrapped up in herself. There were very little jobs available to someone with the name Black attached at the end. Disowned or not. Remus was stuck in the same boat along with Lily - who wasn't getting replies due to her blood status. 

Lily, who lip trembled slightly, head full of all the ideas of life for them after this, "Can we talk outside, Tony?"

The girl nodded quickly before rushing out. James laced his fingers through her hand to keep her grounded. Her head felt a little fuzzy as she looked around at everyone gathered and pictured there corpse. 

Marlene Mckinnon.

Lily Evans.

Dorcas Meadowes.

The Prewett Twins.

Emmeline Vance.

Alastor Moody.

Alice Longbottom.

Frank Longbottom.

Benjy Fenwick.

Edgar Bones.

Caradoc Dearborn.

Peter Pettigrew.

Remus Lupin.

Sirius Black.

James Potter.

And now. . . her Lacerta Black.

They were all grinning like idiots as she thought again how very naive they all were in that moment. 

Tonya found her later on in their dorm room. She looked ashamed, embarrassed even as she bowed her hand over her fiddling hands. "I'm sorry I didn't say anything," she looked up with tears filling her eyes. "I'm sorry for leaving you behind."

That was what hurt the most. Being left behind. First Sirius. Then Regulus. Now Tonya and Mary were leaving them. The sting in her heart felt familiar. "You have little siblings Tony," she knew and understood how much and siblings love could fill you. "You have to do what's right for you and for them."

"I hope you know it's not because I'm afraid," she said. The Slytherin self-preservation was what she was referring to.

"I know," but she could she it in the way her hands trembled as they talked about the war or the dark look that would cross her face. They would be stupid to not be afraid truly. 

"You'll have to write me every week! And when Potter asks the question I want to be there at your wedding or when you finally have a baby Potter," she let out a short laugh.

"I wouldn't let you miss a single thing," she grinned. "And who says I'm going to push out a Potter before this war ends? Or at all even."

Tonya gave her a look, "Do you want children?"

"I don't want to be my mother," she admitted. "But this isn't about me and we don't have to cross that subject for years. Where are you studying?"

"It's this amazing guy, Dandelus Chromes, that used to work with Newt Scamander himself before he moved to the States. He had positions open to anyone and I thought I'd give it a shot. I get to go to Nebraska! I bet it's just wonderful there."

She was happy for her friend and gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. "Love you, Tony."

"Love you, Liz."

The distance between them felt too large, but they still engulfed each other in a hug and slept in the same bed that night for the first time in what felt like forever. A moment they could still treasure for as long as they were both still alive.

So very naive.

Hey... how yall doing