Trigger warning - Scenes of self harm
"I like Gi-Jeog for a girl or boy. It means miracle." Jimin spoke up, a glass of wine in hand.
"It's gender neutral too, right?" Jungkook asked his hyung before taking a swig of his beer. "Yeah, I thought it was really pretty, especially after... You know, everything."
"I like Lydian for a little boy," the eldest rapper admitted after topping off his glass of whiskey, "It means a musical mode, similar to a major scale, but with one note sharpened to give a slightly unsettling sound." He paused, eyeing those around the table.
"I know it sounds weird, the name meaning an unsettling sound, but again, like Jimin said, it links to all the downs we've had-But anyways, I like it."
"It's cute hyung, I like it." Hoseok cheered the elder with a matching glass of whiskey.
Namjoon spoke up next, "I like Octave or Octavia. For a girl or boy."
"A series of eight notes?" Jin questioned, "One for each of us." Namjoon nodded towards the eldest.
"Vi? What do you think?" Taehyung turned to the woman at the head on the table, Lilac ,now much bigger, stood with her head in her owner's lap.
"I-I don't know, I love them all?"
"But?" Taehyung pressed, knowing something was wrong. "But we shouldn't get our hopes up." She mumbled before standing with a sorry to leaving the dining room, mind racing with what was left to do.
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Hands grabbed at her shaking wrists, the pen dropping from her hands just in time for a sob to rip through her throat.
"I'm going to be a terrible mother! Terrible!" She cried out as she was pulled from her seat, the plans for the band’s schedule long forgotten now. "I killed one baby, this one's next!"
Violet walking hit the man's chest, "I'm fucking horrible, Koo. I'm a terrible person. I killed my baby, I kill-"
"Violet, shut the fuck up!" Jungkook angrily demanded, eyes boring into hers. "Just please, shut the hell up. Fucking hell!" He cursed out weakly, the eldest male stood behind the partially shit door as the others patiently waited downstairs after Violet wandered off.
"I've had enough, Vi. Just please. You just talk absolute bull shit." Violet’s eyes fell to the floor, her hands locked in his own weak grasp. "You didn't do anything wrong. The world is just throwing so shit as us to prove we can get through it." He tried to reason.
"God, I feel like I've ficked up. I haven't been able to help you out at all, I'm just an immature shit that stresses you out more than needed." Jungkook’s voice was the only sound within the house, even the dogs led silently in the dog room.
"I do fuck all to help the hyungs. They look after me while I add more weight to their shoulders. I do fuck all for you. I just get you for food or a fuck, I'm no good. So if you're going to blame anyone, blame me." The youngest whimpered.
"Blame me, Noona. I can't bare to see you fall apart. Not again. Not like last time." Last time. The time she last fell into her depression, when it last enveloped her into a suffocating hug.
"You were broken, so, so broken." mutters fell to her knuckles which he held to his lips, the two now fallen to the floor.
**
It was only a few months before they had to leave, she wasn't aware of this fact yet.
Takes away the pain, huh? The voice crooned in the back of her mind as she watched the newly burnt patch of skin on her thigh. She had only dropped the lighter after lighting a candle.
YOU ARE READING
Shards
Fanfiction"You're beautiful" He mumbled out, hands cupping her face, brushing her tears away "I'm so sorry you feel as though you're not, but I know it's hard, it's so hard, but you're so strong, you're doing so well, and I'm so proud of you." "I've got you...
