{EDITING PROCESS}
*BOOK ONE OF TWO*
When a high school student named Davina Smith faces her senior year after a tragedy in her family, suddenly finds herself appealed to the new kids in town.
She never had an interest in befriending anyone besides h...
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My coping mechanism is ignoring it. Throwing it to the far end of my thoughts, and forgetting about them. Which is exactly what I'm currently doing right now. Ignoring the heartbreaking conversation that happened nearly 8 hours ago.
Freya, Sam, Lidia, and Theo had left to get groceries. Xavier and I stayed to try to make the beach house a bit more 'Homey'. So here I am, fluffing the pillows in the living room. Setting up throw blankets that had been in the closet.
One thing that didn't go unnoticed was that I could feel Xavier's eyes on me the entire time. I'm sure he's worried I might leave him. Truth is, I can't. I'm eternally stuck because I love him. Love is a bitch...
"Pass me that blanket." I point at the blanket next to Xavier and he hands it to me. His eyes still stuck to my face. Now I will admit, I have been acting a little more quiet than usual. It's just- I don't know what to say.
"Are you ok?" He asks while I continue folding the blanket. "Yeah." My response is quick and robotic. No emotion behind my words. Absolutely nothing to put emotion to when the only emotion I should be feeling is being suffocated by my own coping mechanism.
"Because If you aren't, we can take a break from this." He pushes again. I sigh and look at him. "I said I'm fine." This response only makes him more upset. I see him sigh and shake his head at me.
"Let's take a break." God, why doesn't he leave it? "I'm. Fine." My voice because stern and my blood starts boiling. "Just- Just leave it. I don't need a break," I set the blanket on the couch and run my hands through my hair. Xavier just stares.
"I need- I need to keep myself busy." I sit down on the couch and cover my face with my hands. "I need to keep my mind off of- off of literally everything." I'm about to go back to doing exactly that, but I'm stopped.
"Off of what we just talked about..." Xavier says completely shattering my shielded thoughts. They all come flushing in at once. The wave is running its way out of my mouth. No being able to control it.
I flip around to face him. "Yes, Xavier!" I yell, making him get a little taken aback. "I want-I have always wanted to have kids! I have always wanted to find the one and have that wish completed with them!" The tears form in my eyes making my vision blurry.
I suck in my breath. "Of course, I can live without them! I can accept that." He's looking at the floor now. "I know I'm still young. But now I'm having a hard time trying to accept that I won't have that anymore." At this point, my voice wasn't as loud.
