The Lives Of The Romanovs

Her

Vladimir

I lived in a small house on Tsarkoye Selo with Paul. The house had five-bedrooms, a sitting room, a kitchen, a dining hall, and three bathrooms. It was enough just in case we had visitors. Paul had a nanny now named Martha, a old woman from Finland. She stayed in one of the bedrooms upstairs, close to Paul. We only had a chef and a maid for our house, as we did not need a whole staff.

Paul was laid down for a nap around 13:00. I spent my time to take a walk. I put on my fedora and shoes. I liked my walks. It gave me a lot of time to think about things. Mostly Maria. I missed her more than I thought I could ever miss anything. On my walk, I uselessly picked different dandelions on the grass. Once I got to the bridge at Catherine Park, I slumped over the railing. I rolled the dandelions between my fingers.

"That railing is dirty. I do not suggest doing that." I heard someone say. I looked up and I saw Olga Nikolaevna walking toward me. She had a weak smile on her face. Her makeup was nicely done and she wore pink dress along with a pink cloche-hat. I leaned up and immediately removed my hat.

"Olga, hello. Are you visiting your parents?" I asked.

She nodded. "Yes, but my parents said that you take your walk around Catherine Park around this time. I have come to look for you."

"I heard Ivan has had a bleed. Is he alright?"

"Yes, he is fine. He is still exhausted, but the bleeding has stopped."

"Thank God. I am happy to hear that." I grinned and nodded at her.

"How is Paul?"

"Well. He has been put down for a nap. My God, Olga...he looks just like his mother. When I look in his eyes, all I see is my Lilas."

Olga sighed. "You still miss her terribly, don't you?"

I slumped over the railing again, dropping the dandelions in the river. "I am still trying to figure out what to do in my life without her. One moment, she was here and the next...she simply was not."

"We love you, Vladimir. I understand it is hard, but you must continue to be there for Paul." Olga put her hand on my shoulder.

"I know. I am trying to be the best father I can be. But it is not fair that my son has to grow up without a mother. He deserves to know a mother's love."

"He will know his grandmother's love. Mama loves her grandson very much."

I chuckled. "She visits him at least three times a week. Believe me, I know your mother loves Paul. Your father has a hard time even looking at Paul. It hurts him too much. One time, he called him Mashka."

"Poor Papa...he deserves more kindness in this world. I love him so."

"He is a good man. I have a lot of respect for the Tsar. Olga, I have a question. Would you mind if Paul and I spent more time with your family? He deserves to know his mother's family."

Olga weakly smiled. "Of course. Come to my home whenever you would like. You and Paul are always welcome."

"Thank you...sister." I gave a wan smile to which she gave one back. I leaned up and placed my fedora back on my head. "Walk with me. It has been a little while since we spoke." Olga and I linked arms and continued to walk around Catherine Park.

"Are you writing again? I know you stopped for quite some time." Olga asked me.

"Yes, I am. A lot of them are about Maria and Paul."

"I am glad to hear that. In fact, I have some news."

I chuckled. "What? Are you with child for the one-hundredth time?"

"Rude!" Olga laughed. "I only have four children! Though...I would not mind a fifth or a sixth. Maybe even a seventh...maybe even an eighth."

"Yes, I believe one-child is enough for me. But what is this news?"

Olga stopped walking, with us still linking arms. She looked down at the ground for a moment. "Do not tell my parents, but I am going to America."

"America? Whatever for?" I was puzzled.

"I am going with Natasha, my maid, and some imperial officers. I am going to bring Anastasia home. This family is falling apart without her." Olga sighed.

I shook my head and unlinked arms with her. "Olga Nikolaevna, that is a very poor idea. If Anastasia wanted to come home, don't you think she'd be here?"

"But what about Papa and Mama? They are so sad in their palace alone."

"Anastasia is an adult. She is old enough to make her own choices. She does not wish to come home. Do not go to America and force her to come home."

"Then what am I supposed to do? Do I continue to let Papa and Mama be sad? I certainly cannot bring back Alexei or Maria, but I can bring Anastasia back. I must try, Vladimir."

"You can try, but prepare yourself to be disappointed. Anastasia is headstrong."

Olga scoffed. "I notion that. I am no fool. But we miss her terribly and our children should know their Aunt Nastya. I will only be gone for five-days."

"How are you going to make sure your parents do not know? That will be difficult." I furrowed my eyebrows.

Olga lowered her head. "I am going to fib. I am not proud of it, but it must be done. I am going to tell them that Igor and I are taking a small holiday to Finland. In reality, Igor will stay with the children and stay quiet until I return with Nastya. Then, I will tell my parents the truth."

"But if you have already come up with a lie and plan on telling them about the lie, then does that mean you already believe the plan will fail?" I asked. Olga rolled her eyes at me.

"Damn Vladimir, just support me. I have this. It will work. Trust me." Olga nodded. Anastasia was not going to come home. I already knew that and I thought Olga knew that deep down too. But I supposed I was going to have to give her some hope. Deep down, I hoped I was wrong and Olga was right.