The Only Girl - Remus Lupin x Reader [Book 1] - Rewritten

28 - The Full Moon

The full moon was quickly approaching and Remus was becoming more and more stressed, more than he usually is around the time of the transformation.
He's worried that our animagus plan wont work and he's concerned about our safety. We continuously tell him that we'll be fine but even we're beginning to feel nervous about it.

"Remus, everything will be ok." I assure him as we sit cuddled up by the fireplace in the common room.

"You don't know that." He mumbles.

"Just trust us."

"I do trust you all, it's me I don't trust." Remus says and I hug him.

"Don't say stuff like that."

"Why not? It's true." I hug him tighter than I already was.

"No, it's not." I mutter into his chest.

"Y/n, I'm not myself when I transform," He says. "I could rip your head off and I would feel no pain or remorse. I'm a monster."

"No you're not." I say. "Stop saying stuff like that about yourself."

"But it's the truth." He mutters.

"No its not. Remus you are the kindest, sweetest, most caring person I know, you're not a monster." He wraps his arms around me and puts his head in the crook of my neck.

"You're so amazing." He mutters. "I don't deserve you."

I frown slightly but don't reply. I can tell this conversation isn't getting anywhere.

We sit in silence for a while, just holding each other close.

Remus kisses me on the cheek. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" I ask.

"Saying all those thing." He says.

"It's ok," I say. "It's how you feel, it's not true, but it's how you feel. Everyone feels badly about themselves."

"Do you?" He asks with his eyebrows furrowed.

"Well, yeah." I mutter.

"Why?" He asks. "You're perfect."

"No I'm not." I say shaking my head and turning to face him. "I'm a total wreck of a person."

"No, you absolutely are not," He says, pulling me in for a tight hug. "You are a kind, sweet, amazing person, you've just had your ass kicked by life to the point where you feel like a wreck."

Tears begin forming in my eyes.

"You're the amazing one," I say quietly. "Seriously, I don't know what I did to deserve you."

"After what's happened to you, you deserve every good thing in the world." He presses a small kiss to my forehead and the tears begin to pour.
"Don't cry," He says softly. "You're okay."

"I know, I-I'm just in my head about things."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I probably should, but I don't know if I can."

"You don't need to force yourself to talk," He says softly, his hand coming and squeezing mine. "But you know that I am always here if you want to."

I nod slightly. I can do this, I can talk to him about it.

I take a deep breath and tell him everything, from when my mum hurt me to when she used the Cruciatus Curse on me. He listens to every word I say and I can feel tears begin to roll down my face.