Euphoria | Kim Sunoo (ENHYPEN SERIES)

[SPECIAL CHAPTER] - 1

your pov

"hey riks." I called out to riki, "yeah?" — "what do you mean yeah, it's your turn bozo, truth or dare?" i smirked, "truth...?" 

i smirked even wider, "who do you like?" i asked, "noona! i shouldn't have agreed to do this··· ha··· haeun unnie." he blushed, super hard.

"our brother is finally in love?" konon teased, "shut up konon! stop!" he kicked both of his feet in the air, covering his face with a pillow in embarrassment, i just laughed at his reaction, what about me? when am i going to find the right one for me? i can't go back to sunoo now, he's dating that girl··· and to this day, I'm still jealous of her.

she's prettier, more talented, and unproblematic- i should be hyping myself up, not hurting my own heart.

i just want to get hit by a truck, lord, please plan my death this year, I'm so exhausted from seeing them together, doing their lovey-dovey things, I'm cringing please lord help me.

i can't deny it though, i never stopped loving him.

i miss you sunoo, come back to me, please. 

what am i thinking? it's not like he's gonna choose me over that girl, she's so much better than me anyway.

i have to go to therapy in a couple of minutes. after me and sunoo broke up, I started going to therapy, and what i thought was that i was only sad because we broke up, but then my therapist asked me how long I've been feeling down, and when i told her, she told me that I've probably had depression for really long and that i should've done therapy a long time ago but still, and i didn't notice it, it's not my fault.

i got ready to go out for therapy and since I'm going somewhere else, I'll overdress.

i decided to wear something i used to wear just to make it a little bit different, once i finished changing, i took my phone and earphones with me, and finally took a break from k-pop and started listening to the Weeknd, Taylor Swift, Lana Del Rey, and mitski instead.

i didn't go with anyone on purpose, i was meeting someone today,

i arrived at my therapist and it took about half an hour for us to finish, i didn't know we'd get to this point but thinking of it just makes me... sad? everything makes me sad these days.

she told me that i just needed anti-depressant pills, and she scribbled prescriptions on a small piece of paper, I've told her once that words couldn't cure me anymore, but pills did.

i decided to go somewhere, just to change it up a little bit, to be able to socialize with people my age seems kind of scary, I'm not used to that anymore, but I'll try to.

i went to a park, with lots of people in it. i purposely chose this park to be able to at least meet someone new, I'm not looking for someone to date, i realized that I'm still young, with a huge future ahead of me. 

not long after, i saw a familiar face, "seungjin! how have you been?" i looked up at him, sitting on the ground. "Y/N? didn't expect to see you here. I've been good, how about you?" here we go again.

"well, my life currently is a bit hard to explain, but how did you end up in japan?" i asked, trying to purposely change the topic, but of course, that wouldn't work.

he just told me why and then asked about my life. gosh, why is he so nosy?

I shook my head to try and get rid of that though, it would seem rude of me if I said that, now speaking of that, I've been easily getting mad at people these days, it's like i became more sensitive over the months. how did I turn out like this? oh right.

seungjin said he just passed by and wasn't supposed to stay here, he said he still had to go somewhere, am i a distraction? if so, then that's good.

I heard my phone ringing so I picked it up, I heard riki talk on the other side of the phone, telling me that he had to go back to Korea, why does he need to go that fast? it's only been two days.

and now he's asking me to come with him.

for what? so that I see sunoo hanging out with that girl? i wanted to disagree, but he kept on insisting that I should be there, so I couldn't disagree.

i didn't continue high school since I came from an orphanage that taught us everything we had to know, meaning I had absolutely nothing to do alone at home.

so I decided to go with him, to get my own heart torn apart, by my mind.

i packed my things, I've asked konon to go with me countless times, but i can't, she's still studying.

he bought two tickets for us, even though i insisted to pay. 

we landed in Korea pretty early, i was still tired and groggy from the lack of sleep i had, i only slept for two to three minutes and we're here already, it's my fault anyway, i didn't sleep.

we arrived at hybe, everyone gave us a warm welcome, well that's just weird, I'm not an idol anymore but they're letting me in? did riki plan this? of course, he did.

"your dorm? can I even stay there?" I asked him as he just chuckled and nodded in response, that's even odder.

i walked inside as he led me inside a room that didn't look familiar to me at all, did they add a new room while I was gone? oh? there's two beds.

"oh, sorry I forgot to tell you, you're sharing rooms with someone." he smiled and trailed off, rooms with who now? 

i took a shower like I usually do after a long flight, did my skincare and other things as well, changed into comfortable clothes and when I walked out of the room, I saw a girl, sitting on the other bed. 

now, is this sunoo's girlfriend? very funny. 

Do i have to share rooms with her? this girl is getting on my nerves, first, she steals my boyfriend and now she has her own room in this dorm? if she tries to talk to me, I'll for sure snap.

well, that's weird, I've been here for pretty long but she's still not talking, I'm not complaining though.

no one and absolutely no one was in the dorm, but of course, this girl and me.

riki said he had to go somewhere with the other members and that they'll be gone for a whole day so that means I'll be with her for a whole day, no shit sherlock.

"Hey, sorry for not communicating earlier, I heard your name is y/n." she smiled.

"Please don't talk to me today, me and riki had a fight earlier and I'm still annoyed, can you not?" I lied, i looked at her straight in the eyes, just wanting to yell at her pretty face, but the point is, 

i couldn't.

a/n: hello everyone! congratulations, you reached the special chapters, what does that mean? it means the book is almost finished, thank you so much for staying with me until this chapter!

and can you notice how depressed I am based on my music taste? lol

words: 1,312

date: 08.12.22