your pov
there's no point of it, there's no point of hating on sunoo and his girlfriend.
you have to accept the bitter truth y/n, he'll never love you. ever again.
i was just sipping my coffee, minding my own business while scrolling on social media trailing my way to the kitchen when I saw sunoo's girlfriend washing the dishes, while sunoo was hugging her from the back.
how painful can my visit get? I'm exhausted, I can't stand seeing them together, but he's happy already y/n, you should be supportive.
of course, I should. aside from him being my ex, he's also my friend.
okay, let's say he's happy, but am I happy? absolutely not.
i still love him with my whole heart, well, maybe a little bit of hate, but it doesn't matter, at least I still love him.
as for that girl, I hate her. I'm not the kind of person to hate someone because of love because that sure sounds stupid, but I think she crossed the line.
no, she hasn't.
she hasn't done anything to me, and probably never will. it's just me who's so jealous of her pretty little face, and her pretty little boyfriend as well.
why can't I accept the fact that sunoo isn't mine anymore? doesn't he understand? I'm in pain.
can't he understand? can't he see me? how the hell would he even see me, he probably doesn't even know I'm here.
i left the room immediately, not wanting to see more of it. it's painful, It really is, but i have to bare this for i don't know how long. i can't take it anymore, I've only been here for a day, and I've been trying my hardest to avoid sunoo and his girlfriend.
at this point, i don't think that I'm only ignoring sunoo and his girl, i think I'm avoiding them all except for riki.
i don't want to feel like this anymore, waking up dreading that i met sunoo, waking up dreading that I'm alive.
it scares me, the thought that anything can kill me, just a simple cat can do that, it can accidentally knock something over, and that thing knocks a bigger object and the object can hit me in the worst ways possible, but just thinking about how dreadful my life is, i want that to happen to me.
he makes me forget that I'm a living creature, he makes me forget everything a normal human can do.
he makes me hate myself, he makes me feel like I'm not enough, he makes me feel as if i was invisible, but what do i do? i just keep on loving him as if I'm not hurting enough to try and kill myself.
i tried to shrug the feeling off, i scrolled through social media to try and cheer myself up a little bit, but that was no use, instead, i felt worse.
i saw people my age hanging out with each other, having fun going to parties while I'm here crying about how much i miss sunoo, my euphoria, well technically, not anymore.
it made me feel even worse, but i still had my therapist's prescriptions of happy pills, and i forgot to buy them.
me, feeling awfully suicidal for such small reasons, just wanted to give myself at least a peek of happiness to not seem depressed to others, had to buy the pills tonight.
the air tonight is freezing as if i entered a refrigerator.
"hey riki, do you want to go with me to the pharmacy?" I asked, that technically wasn't a question, i was ordering him to do so.
YOU ARE READING
Euphoria | Kim Sunoo (ENHYPEN SERIES)
Fanfiction"I'll come back, I promise" a sunoo x reader heavy angst au wherein Park Y/N, a girl with intense intelligence and talent in everything, was seen as someone who was "perfect„ and unproblematic. but it was the whole opposite, the girl has more proble...
