OFF-SIDE

𝖙𝖜𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖞-𝖔𝖓𝖊

Octavia
I try to embrace myself for what's coming but I almost don't want to sit here, all I want to do is just get up from this fucking table and run, run away to a place were no one can find me, just silence, I need some silence.

The crack of the door opening catches my attention and I turn my face to see my dad, coming in looking...almost fragile and vulnerable, no one has ever seen him in this state before, and I wish I didn't, I clear my throat as Adrian's hand gives mine a re-assuring squeeze and I slightly nod, Nash just watches me from across the table smiling at me, looking like he doesn't want to be here just as much as me.

I think I know how hard it's for him, I don't even know how the hell my dad got involved with his, but we'll find out today, right now, right here, all of us, me, Adrian, Nash, Layla, Cole, Brendan and lastly Xander, who also by the way keeps flashing me some glares from across the table, honestly fuck him.

I keep my attention on our dad, and it's almost like I don't even know who I'm looking at, his hair is a mess, dark circles under his eyes, his clothes look like he's been wearing them for over a fucking month, I take a deep breath through my nose and let it out slowly, my eyes briefly meeting Nash's and he mouths "it's gonna be okay." And we both know it's not, but hearing it makes you feel somewhat better.

That's why lies are always more comforting to people, because most of the times people almost don't want to know the truth, because the truth is ugly, the truth is painful, the truth is fucked up, so we just lie to ourselves, making our whole life a lie,it's just better that way.

"What do you want to know?" Dad swallows heavily, and drops to his chair, "everything." Cole says quietly, Anger flashes across his features, cheekbones sharpening and his nostrils flare, Cole is known to be the calmest one, or rather the one who's in the most control of his emotions, so seeing him in that state means that he's very mad, and he has every right to be.

"Look you have to know that I didn't take any advantage of any of you, I adopted y'all because I really wanted to-" he says but Xander stops him with a snarl "cut the bullshit." He says harshly causing him to flinch , dad swallows hard and looks at me, his features softening "I'm sorry" he mouthes, I shake my head slightly "just talk." I say hoarsely.

He nods slowly "it all started 2 years after you were born-" he says motioning to me, lovely "you have to know that your father was a very decent man-" a bitter laugh cuts him off and it takes me a second to realize that it's Brendan's "oh so is that why you killed him?" He asks raising a brow and glaring at him, I swallow the lump forming in my throat, the problem is that I'm supposedly the only person who saw the person who killed our father, yet I don't remember any shit.

"I had to." Dad says so quietly it's hard to hear him, I steal a glance at Cole and see him clenching his jaw,
And pocking the inside of his cheek with his tongue as though he's planning a murder, of our dad obviously, "you either spit the whole thing out, Jonathan or I swear to god I'll kick you out of this house myself." Cole says angrily, calling him by his first name, no longer dad, the vein in his neck popping, "okay okay you boys need to understand that I had no choice but to do that." He says again before and my anger kicks "for god's sake just say anything." I say angrily and he blinks a couple of times as though he wasn't expecting me to talk.

"Yeah yeah." He says quickly , Xander stands up and walks towards a drawer searching for something, Adrian looks at me his brows furrowing just like mine, xan comes back and realization kicks in, two bloody shirts are dropped in front of all of us on the table "explain." He snarls in his direction, "how are these two people connected to you?" He asks again, "your father....we had disagreements." He motions in Layla and Nash's direction, "so you killed him?" Nash asks clenching his jaw so hard and Layla clears her throat "no- no when I left I swear he was breathing." He says, tears forming in his eyes and my lips twitch, the person we always looked up to is a serial killer, not just any one, no he's the one who killed our father, what a joke.

"I'll start with your father." He motions to Xander who looks like he's going to rip him apart in a second, no doubt he would actually do it "your parents weren't innocent as you might know, your mother's origins weren't the best either, drug dealers, murderers and all that shit, and there was a cousin of hers, his name was Lucas Jones, he had been searching everywhere for her, to...kill her because she was the only one left to inherit her father's legacy, and lots of other shit, when your father found about it he-" he stops and swallows hardly before continuing, "he took her and ran away, he ran with all of you, Octavia, Cole, Brendan, Xander and even...Chris." The sentence end on a whisper as he looks at me and my stomach Clenches at the mention of my brother, my hands shake a little and Adrian's hold tightens, reminding me that he's here, I snap my head to look in Xander's direction who does a very very surprising thing.

"He loved you the most." He mouthes and my lips part in surprise, this is the first time he ever talks about him like that, especially to me, I'm just always blamed because he believes that I'm the reason behind Chris's suicide, I know that I'm not, I also know the real reason behind it, His twin does too, but we both know that neither me nor Brendan are going to actually tell him what it was.

"you still didn't say a fucking word about how you're connected to our father's death." Cole says, his voice harsh and different, "okay okay I'm just getting ahead of myself calm down." He says and my brother glares at him, and if looks could kill, our dad would be buried six feet underneath, "after three years of all the hiding, Lucas was pronounced dead, so they finally thought that they could live freely, they could finally be a happy family." His voice breaks at the end before a tear slips on his cheek, my eyes tear up but I stare ahead of me forcing them away, "YOU ARE THE ONE WHO'S FUCKING CRYING!"Brendan shouts so loud I think the whole street heard us, "yes you're so oppressed I know!!" Xan yells too joining him.

"Sit down, both of you." Cole says sternly motioning for them, and they eventually drop to their seats again, "Go. On." Cole says so slowly it almost sounds maniac, "eventually...they figured out that they're being watched, a lot of weird things has been happening in the house back then, Chris's paintings being destroyed overnight, Octavia's clothes being stolen and lots of other shit." He says and I do remember all of this, I just never thought that it was that big of a deal, I was just a kid, "they coincidentally found out that Lucas is actually still alive, and all this time he's been in a coma because of an accident but when his health finally became better he was so much smarter and he knew exactly how to find her, he was still after her life, and that's where my part came.." he says, I hold my breath and fist my hands, "I'm so sorry." He sobs.

"What the hell do you mean by your part? Did they hire you to kill Lucas? Then you killed them?" Cole asks laughing bitterly, the same question that has been on my mind since he told us, he shakes his head hurriedly "no-no you don't understand, the truth is....my real name isn't actually Jonathan, it's just a cover for all the shitty things I've done in the past, my real name is Lucas, Lucas Jones." He says quietly and the room's temperature drops ten degrees.

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