OFF-SIDE

𝖙𝖍𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖞-𝖊𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙

Nash
Earlier that night....
I pick up the phone right away when I see who's calling, "yes? Did you finally remember you have a fucking friend?" I ask the fucker, Nikolai's laugh pierces my ears, "stop being dramatic," he says and I let out a breath, "you free? We need to talk." He says more seriously and I rub a hand all over my face "can it wait?" I ask not really in the mood to do anything.

He pauses for a moment probably taken aback by my reply, normal me wouldn't miss that chance, "you okay?" He asks immediately, a bitter laugh slips out of me "I'm fine yes, perfect." I say and he sighs, "I'm coming over." He says and ends the call not giving me a space to argue, for fuck's sake, I just need to be alone, why can't anyone understand that?

Just as he said, minutes later I hear a knock on my door, I get up to open it and greet the grumpy ass in front of me, "you look like shit." He says when he gets in, "it's because I feel like it too." I say and his steps pause, as he drops down on the couch, "what happened?" He asks raising a brow, "it's about Octavia isn't it?" He asks, running a hand through his black hair.

I sigh and drop my head back, slightly closing my eyes, it hurts, it really fucking does, when I asked Octavia if she was willing to try for me, I'd at least expected her to lie and say yes, she wasn't even defending herself and that pissed me off more, she just wanted to run, take the easiest way out any path,  if I really meant that much to her, she'd have at least thought about it.

"Spit it out." He says when I stay silent, letting my thoughts take over, just simply tired of fighting them, today was already a shitty day the moment I saw the letter mom left to Layla, she explained how she "had to" do what she fucking did, how she also had to kill our father back then, Layla couldn't take it anymore, and I couldn't either, All my life I thought my father was the villain in this story but turns out it's been our mom all this time.

I sigh and then say everything that happened today to him, he takes his time before talking, as always, which I actually admire in Nikolai, as much as he's an asshole most—well all of the time, and appears like he doesn't care, he's always been by my side, and I'll always be by his, "look..I'm not going to say that one of you is wrong and the other is right, it's more of a...miscommunication." He says and I frown "miscommunication how exactly? I literally said that so there wouldn't be miscommunications in the fucking future." I say, anger catching up in my tone.

It's easier to be angry than upset, it hurts way less, "I get why you're mad nash, I do so much, but I'm sure she'll come around in no time." He says and I run a hand through my hair, "she's not Victoria..I don't mean that in a bad way, I mean that she went through hell Nikolai, and it's understandable why she feels that way, I know it won't just happen in one night, and I didn't want it to, I just wanted her to at least tell me that she'd try." I say swallowing the knot forming in my throat, I can't lose her, we just got each other back, I can't lose her, not like that.

He stays quiet for a moment "look, I don't know her..but I know you nash, I know the effect you leave on people, I know that sounds stupid, and I'm not really the type to say that cringey shit, but I'm being honest, the way you make us feel, the way you make your sister feel, it's like...you're a safe place, I'm sure you're hers too, from a couple of times we saw you together, I know that you think it's fake, but the way you two looked at each other, the way you two looked like you were made for each other told me otherwise, I'm saying it again, she'll come around, no matter how long it'll take her, I know that she's willing to try for you, she's just scared of trying, because her whole life, she's never had the choice of choosing something to try, its always been persuaded on her, so of course when she finally has a choice, she'll run away from it, because she's not familiar with that, she's been running all her life." He says and for a moment I'm speechless, I genuinely am.

"Wow." I say and let out a breath, I get his point but I still need her to say it, Nikolai's words aren't enough, he puts a hand on my shoulder "now, let's go out and get you out of this mood, the last months have been miserable, have fun for one fucking night." He says and I raise a brow "I'm not going anywhere." I say and he stares at me "oh yes you are." He says calmly, well in your fucking dreams Nikolai.

***

So here we are, at the club "enjoying" the night, I wish I can just slam his face on the nearest table, he holds Victoria tightly and pulls her closer, she laughs then pouts "are you just going to glare at everyone all night?" She asks me raising a brow while taking a sip from her drink, I slightly nod "uh yeah." I say and look around, the music is loud, people dancing and making out, that bar itself reminds me of her, because we always used to be here together lately.

"We'll dance, and I hope I come back here and see you doing something better than this," Nikolai says, putting his glass of whiskey in my hand I glare at him as I throw it away, and he raises his brows, amusement glistening in his eyes, as he walks away with his wife, fuck you, Nikolai, I take back everything good I thought about towards him today.

Minutes pass and I stare ahead of me, my thoughts roaming around my mind, I suddenly feel a hand on my shoulder "HEYY!" Someone shouts as I turn around, I'm met with a pink-haired girl, who looks familiar, Octavia's friend, Lara? I think it was Lana I don't even remember, I take her hand off my shoulder and clench my hand around the glass, "yes?" I reply, I'm not normally harsh towards people, but since it's obvious that Octavia hates her, then I do too.

"Where's Octavia!" She shouts over the music as she drops in the seat in front of me, "not here." I reply dryly, raising a brow, she clears her throat, "oh do you want another drink? To spice up the night Come on!" She says smiling and I shake my head searching for Nikolai to tell him that I'm leaving, a moment passes and I give up when I don't find him, a text will do, I stand up ready to walk outside the fucking bar, and call it a night.

I gather some dollars and take the last sip of my whiskey then give them to the bartender, I don't bother saying anything to her as I walk towards the crowd, some people part out of the way and others are just too busy to notice, I'm almost at the door when I feel my body going limb and everything going blurry, I blink a couple of times trying to make sense of whatever the hell is happening, I didn't even drink that much, everything moves slow and a hand wraps around my bicep and pulls me closer, I try to push away but my body doesn't even feel like my own, I can't move it, "shh." A voice says and Lana appears in front of me, as I feel everything going black and the last words I hear are "well well, you're too beautiful to be hers anyway."

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