𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐋𝐃

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 16

KIERAN

"I made it worse again."

"How the hell do you mess up an apology?" Kian asked me while flipping through papers,

"I compared our situations, I said I wouldn't but I did." Guilt.

"You both had it rough, but I think hers is a bit worse and the reason is because she didn't have anyone to reassure her or help her. I'm reading the journals that the English teacher made us write and well hers is something you'd wanna read and rethink everything before you go to see her again."

Kian handed me the papers, Kali's English journal was pretty long.

"Today I was called a "beach ball" I didn't cry when they told me that but I cried when I got home. The house was empty and I just started crying, when mom and dad came home I told them I wasn't hungry and they didn't question it."

"It's been a week, I skip eating everyday, I drink water and that's about it. I feel sick when I look at food now, and it's sad because I can't even eat my favourite packed noodles without puking looking at it. Mom asked me if I was okay because I haven't eaten, but that was once she asked and never again. I know they're busy with work and my sisters, but I wish they'd look and talk to me sometimes."

I flipped through more of the pages, it got darker and darker.

She talked about how she didn't eat for a long period time, how her parents weren't really around and how she cried every night wishing she was..dead.

"It's really-really bad. Did we do this to her?" I asked Kian.

He nodded, "yeah, I don't know what made us think it was okay." He said.

"She has every reason to be the villian now, and we're fucked." He added

Oh I'm fully aware we're fucked, I'm screwed completely.

♤
KALI

I got back my hotel, no. Why is he here?

"Hold on Kali." He grabbed my wrist, "please just leave me alone!"

Kieran pulled me towards him and held me against his chest, I was hurt and angry and-and I just wanted to be left alone but being hugged by someone was the Cherry on top to make me cry even more.

"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry for everything." He said, hugging me.

I pushed him away, "stop, just stop! You don't get to just hug me and say sorry. You just need to leave me alone, I told you I don't want you to be anywhere near me but you're not listening."

I wiped my tears, it's exhausting to cry this much.

"I'm a jerk, asshole, whatever it is you want to call me. I'm just really sorry Kali, I didn't know it would turn out the way it did!"

I don't know what to say.

I'm mad, I want to beat him, I want him begging and pleading for me to stop. On the other hand I want peace and I want to be at peace with myself, I want to make peace with my past but Kieran is part of it and I can't make peace with the one person who made me wish I was dead.

"I took one of those sharpies and marked out every imperfection of mine, I marked out where I wanted to cut. No one told me I was gonna be okay, no one said I'm perfect, now one was there for me. No one cared..no one fucking cared about me and you just made it worse."

He looked sad, he was feeling remorseful too late.

He came towards me, he cupped my cheek and made me look at him.

"You're only paying me attention because I'm better looking and skinnier now, all you rich people are the same."

"I payed attention to you when you didn't look like this, I noticed every little thing but I only cared about my reputation and Rachel that I ended up hurting someone who would've been a better friend to me than anyone else."

"Would've? Don't bullshit me."

"I really thought to ask you to be my friend but like I said, I cared about my reputation and that was stupid of me."

"I've been through enough, I'm done with this Kieran. Just get away from me, it'll take more than just an apology to make me forgive you. Sorry doesn't forgive anything you did."

I pushed his hand away and walked over to open my door, I opened it and went in leaving him in the hallway.

I slide down the door once I got in and sat there, my emotions are back and I don't know what to do.