Rusger Oneshots

The 120th Oneshot

"Germany, remember, no need to go crazy over this."

"Go crazy? What makes you think that, Ru?" Germany laughed, glancing behind as familiar footsteps walked up to him, a hand coming to rest on his shoulder.

"Oh you know, the pacing around, staring out the window like a lost puppy waiting for his owners, the impulse buying..." Russia said, also glancing behind to look exasperatedly into the chaotic landscape that their living room had been transformed into for the last 3 days.

"That's not impulse buying, that's purchasing the essentials." Germany retorted with an easy voice, going back to staring out of the window while perched on the couch, palms propping up his chin.

"A giant box of baby toys is considered essentials?"

"Have you considered what will she do when she's bored here??" He said, turning his head to give Russia the biggest stink eye he could muster while bubbling with excitement.

"Well, we would entertain her, but I don't think we need That Many toys to do that. Babies don't need that many toys." Russia sighed, but couldn't help the slight beginnings of a smile curling his lips. He pressed his hand harder, massaging into Germany's shoulder and feeling the muscles untense, his boyfriend melting into his touch with a pleased hum.

"You read Japan's binder of rules?" He spoke up again, also looking out of the window now to watch for any arriving cars.

"5 times, highlighted, bolded, memorized. That's what I do best." Germany replied with a smug smile.

"So you know that she has strict nap times, means you can't be playing with her the whole time-" Russia reminded, trying not to laugh when that thought rang true in Germany's head, watching his expression turning into one of confused realization and dismay.

"... but since her mother won't be here..." Germany said softly, raising his eyebrows slightly in his implied suggestion. And that finally cracked him up, raising his free hand to muffle the sound of his laughter as their shoulders bumped into each other playfully. 

"I think I know what I'm doing." Germany exclaimed, pretending to pout for being laughed at. "Yeah? I don't think you've even held a baby before." Russia snickered.

"Yes I have- I held Her when she was born! Besides, I could say the same for you- You've never held a baby."

"Well I grew up with siblings so-" Russia countered, copying Germany's smug smile and making him gasp in audacity, throwing a mock-punch against his arm. "How long should she nap for?"

"2 hours max." Germany answered automatically, crossing his arms in challenge. "How long will she sleep at night?"

"5 hours is her longest record, if she wakes up, she either wants to be feed, paid attention to, or needs a diaper change."

"What do we feed her?"

"She started soft food a month ago, we've already cooked that. Combine with milk and no more than 2 snacks a day. See, I know my stuff. I read Japan's binder." Germany grinned mockingly, putting all teeth on display.

"Yeah yeah." Russia rolled his eyes playfully, going back to looking out the window.

"Hey hold on, now it's My turn to quiz you." Germany said, turning around to face him. He gestured towards Russia, who decided to humour him and raised his hands up in a surrender, showing empty hands and pockets. "Where are your weapons?"

"The Nerf guns are in our bedroom and will not be touched." Russia answered dutifully, suppressing a smile.

"And the kitchen knives? We agreed no cooking, right?" Germany cocked his head to one side, arms still crossed over his chest. "Yep, no dangerous activities around her or something. They're in the top cabinet drawer, out of reach of her hands. And also indirectly your hands."